mardi 30 juin 2009

What Facebook taught me

Facebook has been a revelation to me. Some of you may have worked this out already, but I'm kind of a fan. It's yet another way for me to share the ridiculousness of life with an eager and willing bunch of fans, sorry, friends.

But it is more than that.

Facebook has taught me valuable life lessons. Things that I never knew about myself.

In the days BF (Before Facebook), I never knew that my Korean name was Jung-so Hong. I never knew that if I was an airline, I'd be Pan Am. That if I was a stripper, I'd be known as Lovely Swingfest.

Facebook put my mind at rest when it told me that - in no uncertain terms - I would survive the swine flu epidemic. It wasn't wrong.

Sometimes it disappoints - as a West Wing character, FB is convinced that I'd be Toby Ziegler, when we all know that I'm CJ Cregg.

Sometimes it confirms what we have all suspected for a long time - as a Golden Girl, I'd be Blanche. As a Sex and the City girl, I'd be Samantha.

A while ago, I decided to rediscover my spiritual side. I asked Facebook to tell me more. I was a little worried by the truth that it revealed to me.

It seems that I'm a closet Mormon, a troubled Catholic and my Jewishness is around the 10% mark (thanks to a little nip and tuck I received as a baby).

As a Muslim, it tells me that I have a way to go before my Haj pilgrimage. As a Buddhist, I need to chant some more, spin some more prayer wheels. Clutching at straws I asked whether or not I'd be a good Seventh Day Adventist. It seems that Ellen White would 'roll over in her grave' at my lifestyle.

Damn you, evil Facebook, for denying me the pleasure, brotherhood and permission to judge others that only organised religion can bring.

But I guess the most revealing thing that my New Best Friend tells me about myself is that I'm 95% fabulous and that I act like a 12 year-old.

An over-sexed and especially slutty 12 year-old, that is.

28 commentaires:

Lane a dit…

Facebook constantly suggests I have plastic surgery...:-)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Lane - if ever there was someone who doesn't need it!

The sidebar adverts continually suggest that I 'dare to try' fellatio, sodomy and 'dressing up'. I mean really.

alan a dit…

Surely the nip and tuck you received as a young un should have bumped you up to more like at least 40% jewish? I mean, ouch. All the pain, for none of the spiritual gain?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Shalom Alan! The spiritual gain is there, trust me - just in the bedroom not at the synagogue, ha ha. l'hitraot!

alan a dit…

Shalom. One of us might be at least 10% Jewish in our house too! ;)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Alan, I'm guessing that a Certain Someone has taken up Kabbalah...let's face it, it wouldn't be the first celebrity endorsed craze that he's gone for, would it?

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

And it provides a great distraction from everything else when one friend comes back from India, claims to have Malaria, all your friends who are not in Rdam ask you to keep an eye out for said friend and then the next day that friend comes out and posts on Facebook, 'feel fine now, couldn't have been malaria, must have been a hangover'. Yeah...

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Marjolein, that's a demanding friend...see facebook can also be used to announce that you don't have a horrible disease too!

the uses are endless!

The Mutant a dit…

So this is what Facebook will teach me about myself? I hate it already and I only joined six hours ago.

Plus, you've answered one of those questions teasing the back of my mind... one-tenth Jewish, huh?

Wilf a dit…

Facebook told me that I was Abby Bartlett, but I think we all know I'm really a Josh Lyman (without the bald patch).

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Mootant, you'll learn to love it...especially when you join me, ha ha. And you like that jewish thing right? uh-huh, figured you would...;-)

Wilf, Abby Bartlett? How on god's earth a) did you manage that and b) are we even blogfriends?

Abby's a mean, controlling, crazee bitch.

You need to Josh yourself up a bit more sunshine. he he.

Daryl a dit…

Why Claudia Jean, you are just perfect as you all .. signed Donna

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Daryl...oh my goodness, Donna and the bomb in Palestine...how much did that episode upset me! And at the end of a season too!

Daisy a dit…

Brilliant post - I must get more into the facebook tests - I need that reassurance!

PS you as CJ Cregg is hilarious!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Daisy, can you see me bossing the press corps around? Too much fun...

aims a dit…

I don't do facebook. I didn't even know what I was missing!

Still - it's not enough to make me change my mind.

Pure Poser a dit…

gettin down with the kids eh? ;D

jokes, i'm addicted to it as well.
it tells me my family guy character is Stewie.
x

A Lewis a dit…

Blanche Blanche Blanche!!! In spite of the fact that I'm undoubtedly Dorothy/Sophia.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Aims, come on over to the dark side - you know it's calling you...

Poser, I see you as Stewie, really I do....ha ha

Lewis, there's no escaping our inner blancheness really. Damn Facebook...

The Pixy Princess a dit…

Aren't all boys oversexed at 12?

Jaala a dit…

Facebook tells me I need a penis enlargement - I'm female so honestly I'm thinking it means I should have more penis... Just taking it as a slight typo

12ontheinside a dit…

I hate to think what facebook would suggest to me. Still haven't got around to facebooking yet.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Pixy, I'm not sure I remember that far back....

Jaala, well I guess you should place an order and see what you egt?

12oti - join the revolution, ha ha. You know you want to. Well, you probably don't....

conortje a dit…

Young so hung? Sounds like wishful thinking...

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Big C, it's quite the moniker right? I prefer Lovely Swingfest myself though...he he

cb a dit…

And people wonder why I tend to eschew all things facebook.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

cb, you're just snobby when it comes to pop culture...he he

Louise a dit…

This is the best (and funniest) Facebook post I've ever read! I can't believe you managed to keep track of all that stuff! (If I ever bother to do a post about it, it will be about how those people in high school were pretended they were better than me still pretend that.)