jeudi 4 juin 2009

Confusion reigns

I know, I have a complicated lovelife and an even more complicated social life. Or is that vice versa? Anyway, I get lots of people tell me that they struggle to keep up with all the names that come and go on the blog.

With this (and your sanity) in mind, I thought I'd give you a bit of a character list - much like the kind of thing you find at the beginning of really complex novels. You know the ones - the kind where thirty pages in you go "Who on earth is Captain Hanshaw?"

So here goes. I hope it helps. Lord knows, it might help me...

le Parisien
This is the boy that I like a lot. He's the one in Paris who makes my heart beat faster. He's handsome and sexy and funny and *swoon* be still my beating heart. He's also the one least likely to commit, the most difficult to pin down to a next date and incredibly focussed on passing his exams.

Skater Boy
Now, imagine a thirty-year-old guy who rides a skate board, dresses like he's from Linkin Park, has piercings (various) and a silly sense of humour. That's skater boy. He's also very cute, a bit of a geek and into role-playing card games (no, I don't know what that means either). He's good in the sack, hot as a hot thing and always a pleasure to have visit....but he's not boyfriend material.

il Postino
A handsome, forty-something postman of Italian origins. He's in great shape and is frequently happy to buy me a beer before we throw each other around the bedroom. I can't ever really see anything going on beyond the beer and bedroom thing, but hey - he's fun. Oh, and he in-line skates....

Jersey
Jersey came to Paris this spring for a couple of weeks with his job. He's the boy who cried in the Dépot, who cried in the street and who cried in both of our beds. He also cried when I waved him off to the airport, so that won him points. He's now back in Jersey with his dog and says he doesn't miss Paris, but that he does miss me. Go figure that this is going nowhere.

the Fierce People
These are my lovely friends - the American trust-funder and his hard working French boyfriend - who I go drinking with, share laughs galore with and who cook me fabulous food served on the best china. Alas, the proposition of a foursome with Jersey was a low point in our friendship. We laugh about it now. Kind of.

Lovely Paris Friend (now living in the south)
This is my beautifully handsome, charming, funny and overly truthful friend who I miss dearly. After being my big Paris buddy, he moved to the south, where he lives in self-imposed exile, in the sunshine, but out of the limelight - I know which he prefers, and it isn't the sunshine, honey.

Dumb Ass Yank
A recent visitor to these shores, but a long-time visitor to these pages. This is the guy who came to Paris and made me realise how much I miss having a really great friend who lives locally. He's fun, funny and saying goodbye to him was hard. He also has the whitest, glow-in-the-dark-est teeth I've ever seen. And can quote scenes from any film you'd ever care to mention. He also has a great blog. Go visit, you'll be impressed.

Irish Dutch Friend
One of the best gifts these pages have ever given me. Someone that I know I'll still be hanging out with, acting like an idiot and drinking myself silly with in fifty year's time - if either of us make it. If you haven't read his pages, then why not? Start now.

American Boy
Oh my. What to do/say/think about this one? Well, he's lovely. He's fabulous. He lives in Florida. If he lived in Europe I'm sure we'd be married with a dog, a doublewide and a 4x4 by now. Alas, he's in Florida. We speak every day. He sends me gifts. He makes me feel giddy. Did I mention that he's in Florida?

Then on top of this lot there are various family, friends, bloggers and boyz who have cameo roles. Walk on parts. Extras, if you like. My crazy Mother, for example. Or the American guy who brought his husband round for a threesome. Or my lovely boss.

And of course there's Debbie.

Lovely, crazy, forthright, slutty, beautiful, mad, psychopathic, schizophrenic Debbie.

We all love Debbie.

Well. Ish.

21 commentaires:

The Mutant a dit…

Right, well I'm glad we've got that one sorted. I thought I had a handle on things, but it's nice to get an additional description in case I missed something.

Just so you know (not that you should really care) I've had a 'le Parisen' of my own once. They are lovely to have but they will break your heart. Problem is - you need to have them for fuck-knows what purpose.

I would very much like to have my own 'Skater Boy' I think I'm barring-up on that description alone. If he were to drop in and out of my life in a non-chalant way from time to time it'd be even hotter.

I've had one or two of the 'il Postino' type charcters in the past too, always good fun and handy when you need a drink. Enjoy him, but see if you might be able to talk him out of in-line skating, that's so 1994.

Oh, and Debbie. I believe I've made my thoughts clear about her before, well not so much her as her type the thing I probably didn't mention is that of all the people who come and go in your life she ought to be the one constant. Bet you weren't expecting that!

Thanks for helping us sort it all out. Now excuse me while I shed a tear or two about how lovely your life sounds in comparison to mine. Sigh.

Victor a dit…

Now those pen pictures are helpful but I think photographs would be really helpful.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Mutant - I have no idea what purpose the Parisien serves at th emoment, other than making my heart beat faster when he rings. Too confusing. And yes, I agree on the Debbie thing...

Victor - now how's that going to help me keep this damn blog anonymous? huh?

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

Thank you. It all makes sense now. :)
By the way, I do know what tole-playing card games are and I love Debbie. So there. ;)

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

That had to be role-playing... ever since I started on my thesis I have trouble typing...

alan a dit…

I won't be an extra, or indeed a walk-on (spare) part for no one!

But then, it is true, that I don't have nicknames.
:)

Good to get clarification on the characters. I was losing track, to be honest ;)

Daryl a dit…

Good now all we need are flashcards to prepare for the test, I think you need to come visit both Jersey and Florida .. and of course NYC

Rob Inukshuk a dit…

Ah, now that they all have names I can recognise it will make your life seem quite mundane - NOT!

I will however be able to keep up with the adventures, a bit better at least. You just keep on having a good time and telling it like it is for us un-named/credited audience!

cb a dit…

Christ! It's like an effed up ess Tolstoy novel!

The Pixy Princess a dit…

lol, other than the fellow bloggers, do these peeps know they have been immortalized in the lines of your blog, and now - catalogued as well? I'm always careful about what I write about friends (even with a clever pseudonym) coz I just don't know who'll be reading!

Valleys Mam a dit…

OK so now we have cast and profiles.
Do any of these interconnect?
Just thinking this could be the new Sex in the City - so your Carrie, now who is Mr Big and who is Aiden.

Pure Poser a dit…

So answer this - who is Captain Hanshaw?

MyopicPsychotic a dit…

I'm disappointed I didn't get a mention, but it was a good entry x

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Marjolein, you know you inspired this, right?

Alan, you're never and extra - just not here often enough!

Daryl, I may yet come to NYC to administer the test in person. Ooh that sounds a bit yucky, sorry.

Rob, the audience is everything! surely every blogger knows that!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CB - yup, effed up ess indeed, he he

Pixy - noone knows, or at least noone tells me they know....

VM - I think that Florida is the Aiden guy, but le Parisien is possibly Mr Big...but they could easily be the other way round you know.....

Poser - he's just an old sea dog I met down the docks, he he

MP - for that you'd have to at least visited one Paris gay bar with me. That's the bare minimum.....

12ontheinside a dit…

Right. So now, do we all vote on who you should live happily ever after with? I've picked one for you. Unfortunately he lives in Florida.

PS I am still a bit skeevy of anyone who inline skates.

A Lewis a dit…

Skater boy, please. Any day.

red a dit…

thanks for that. i was getting a tad lost.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

12oti - why does he have to live in Florida? I'd choose him to, but for the distance...

Lews- it's the Linkin Park thing, no?

Red, glad to have cleared it up for you then dear!

Anthony a dit…

We do love Debs ... and your mom. Any story with those in get my attention straight away :-)

conortje a dit…

I'm printing this off and making it into a laminated, pocket-sized sized version for my next visit - which is only round the corner, HURRAY!