Confusion reigns

I know, I have a complicated lovelife and an even more complicated social life. Or is that vice versa? Anyway, I get lots of people tell me that they struggle to keep up with all the names that come and go on the blog.

With this (and your sanity) in mind, I thought I'd give you a bit of a character list - much like the kind of thing you find at the beginning of really complex novels. You know the ones - the kind where thirty pages in you go "Who on earth is Captain Hanshaw?"

So here goes. I hope it helps. Lord knows, it might help me...

le Parisien
This is the boy that I like a lot. He's the one in Paris who makes my heart beat faster. He's handsome and sexy and funny and *swoon* be still my beating heart. He's also the one least likely to commit, the most difficult to pin down to a next date and incredibly focussed on passing his exams.

Skater Boy
Now, imagine a thirty-year-old guy who rides a skate board, dresses like he's from Linkin Park, has piercings (various) and a silly sense of humour. That's skater boy. He's also very cute, a bit of a geek and into role-playing card games (no, I don't know what that means either). He's good in the sack, hot as a hot thing and always a pleasure to have visit....but he's not boyfriend material.

il Postino
A handsome, forty-something postman of Italian origins. He's in great shape and is frequently happy to buy me a beer before we throw each other around the bedroom. I can't ever really see anything going on beyond the beer and bedroom thing, but hey - he's fun. Oh, and he in-line skates....

Jersey
Jersey came to Paris this spring for a couple of weeks with his job. He's the boy who cried in the Dépot, who cried in the street and who cried in both of our beds. He also cried when I waved him off to the airport, so that won him points. He's now back in Jersey with his dog and says he doesn't miss Paris, but that he does miss me. Go figure that this is going nowhere.

the Fierce People
These are my lovely friends - the American trust-funder and his hard working French boyfriend - who I go drinking with, share laughs galore with and who cook me fabulous food served on the best china. Alas, the proposition of a foursome with Jersey was a low point in our friendship. We laugh about it now. Kind of.

Lovely Paris Friend (now living in the south)
This is my beautifully handsome, charming, funny and overly truthful friend who I miss dearly. After being my big Paris buddy, he moved to the south, where he lives in self-imposed exile, in the sunshine, but out of the limelight - I know which he prefers, and it isn't the sunshine, honey.

Dumb Ass Yank
A recent visitor to these shores, but a long-time visitor to these pages. This is the guy who came to Paris and made me realise how much I miss having a really great friend who lives locally. He's fun, funny and saying goodbye to him was hard. He also has the whitest, glow-in-the-dark-est teeth I've ever seen. And can quote scenes from any film you'd ever care to mention. He also has a great blog. Go visit, you'll be impressed.

Irish Dutch Friend
One of the best gifts these pages have ever given me. Someone that I know I'll still be hanging out with, acting like an idiot and drinking myself silly with in fifty year's time - if either of us make it. If you haven't read his pages, then why not? Start now.

American Boy
Oh my. What to do/say/think about this one? Well, he's lovely. He's fabulous. He lives in Florida. If he lived in Europe I'm sure we'd be married with a dog, a doublewide and a 4x4 by now. Alas, he's in Florida. We speak every day. He sends me gifts. He makes me feel giddy. Did I mention that he's in Florida?

Then on top of this lot there are various family, friends, bloggers and boyz who have cameo roles. Walk on parts. Extras, if you like. My crazy Mother, for example. Or the American guy who brought his husband round for a threesome. Or my lovely boss.

And of course there's Debbie.

Lovely, crazy, forthright, slutty, beautiful, mad, psychopathic, schizophrenic Debbie.

We all love Debbie.

Well. Ish.