I knew it would be a strange evening when, walking into the toilets for a pre-beer wee, I came across a guy washing his dick in the sink. Yep, it was flopped into the handbasin and he was giving it a good old once over with soap and hot water. Lord.
Anyway, as the bar filled up, we could hear the dulcet tones of a pair of Americans above everything else in the room. The half of The Fierce People that is American, drawn as he is to his fellow countrymen, felt that he had to investigate.
I'm so glad that I left him to it. From a good distance of at least 3 metres/ten feet, I could hear the American tourist sprouting his opinions...
Turns out he is a gay policeman from New Jersey and is in Paris on holiday with his boyfriend - also a NJ policeman.
I tried to ignore what he was saying, but it became increasingly difficult, mainly because of the rubbish he was talking. Here are some examples of things I overheard...
"George W Bush is the best modern-day American President. That's a fact"
"People in the United States hate Barack Obama and are embarrassed by him"
"Obama is a one-term president. Palin will be the next president and she'll do a great job"
"The worst thing the republicans did was have Palin as the VP candidate. If she'd been the presidential nominee we'd have a republican president now"
You can imagine that I really didn't want to talk to this guy. You can imagine that our political opinions are poles apart. Mainly because I don't understand why a gay american would vote for the GOP, the party that hates him. But hey, each to his own.
The gay policeman walked past me on the way to the bar.
"Hey there. I guess you don't like what I've been saying" he said, having obviously cottoned on to the faces I was pulling as he spoke.
"It's a free country", said I. "You can say what you like".
"But you don't agree" he said, looking for conflict.
"Of course I don't." I said. "But that's not the problem. The problem is that you have a volume control issue. You seem to think that everyone is interested in what you have to say. You think you need to talk at such a volume that everyone can hear. I don't care about your politics. But I don't want to hear about it from the other side of the room".
And with that, he apologised. He told me how he had trouble controlling his volume and that his superiors in "the force" had spoken to him about it on many occasions.
I asked him how he reconciled being gay with being a Republican.
He said simply that he never wanted to get married, never wanted to adopt, so GOP policy never bothered him.
I asked him why he supported people who clearly hated him. He had no answer.
"My family has always been Republican" was the best he could give me.
And with that, I decided it was time to leave.
God bless America....