lundi 22 juin 2009

Stand up for Australia

So, I'm just back from the stag weekend in Amsterdam, of which there will be more postings, don't worry.

Meanwhile, however, I wanted to tell you about my trip home this evening.

On the way back from Amsterdam I stopped over in Antwerp to catch up with a colleague and to go see some customers that I hadn't seen in a while.

So this evening, when I boarded the train back from Antwerp to Paris, the train was already pretty crowded, what with it starting, as it does, in Amsterdam.  

The Thalys has allocated seats and, lo and behold, my seat was already taken by someone who wanted to sit next to their girlfriend and who 'thought I wouldn't mind swapping'.  Well, I'd have preferred to be asked, but hey, I wasn't going to be churlish about it.

So this is how I found myself taking the fourth seat with three Australians....three drunk Australians.  Mother, Daughter and Mother's husband.  Mother and hubbie were about 55 years old; daughter 30-35.

So, daughter heads off to the train bar to buy a (third) bottle of rosé, and mother shuffles down in her seat.

From my seat next to hubbie, I'm in the prime location to see mother's foot pop up from under the table and into his lap.

And with her shoeless foot, she starts to massage his penis through his trousers.

Really.

In a true-blue Aussie male way, he reaches for the box of chips and says to her "want a Pringle love?"

"If I wanted one, I'd just take one" she said, flirtatiously.  Scarily flirtatious.

"You always take everything you want," he said.

"Well," said she, coquettishly, and still rubbing his dick with her foot, "well, I want you to give me something tonight at the hotel".

I mean really, there's only so much a boy can take.  

I'd have moved seats had the train not been quite so full.

And if the husband hadn't actually been quite a hottie, in an older mannish kind of way.  

And if his erection hadn't been quite so alarmingly, well, erm, impressive....

29 commentaires:

cb a dit…

Lord, I'm actually surprised the daughter didn't go off to find a statue of baby cheeses...

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CB, she might as well have been wearing ruched cargoes and clacky mules. I'm sure that this lot are regular Fountain Gate shoppers....

Valleys Mam a dit…

ychaf fi mochyns

travelling, but not in love a dit…

VM - ychaf fi sums it up. Really.

Pure Poser a dit…

'Want some pringles love?' sounds hilarious in a aussie accent.

Surely it counts as a no-no PDA?
Btw, have you ever been to Turkey?
xxx

A Lewis a dit…

Lordy, lordy...I've just broken a sweat. It sounds like precisely the kind of train ride I'd love to take...or have, or be, or whatever. So, you didn't have to pay for the show...did you??

12ontheinside a dit…

Gotta love bogan Aussies, eh.
I am not one. Honest.

Jaala a dit…

I do promise that not all us Aussie's are like that... BUT BUT with saying that it doesn't surprise me at all. hehe

aims a dit…

OMG! *snickering very loudly*

Now the question is - what is Jaala referring to? Penis size or what? (inquiring minds need to know)

The Mutant a dit…

See, now families like that earn Aussies a bad name... If I were the wife I'd at least have the tact to slide under the table. God only knows Aussie husbands won't stick around long if you're a filthy cock-tease. A little fellation never hurt anyone.

And you wonder why the daughter took off?

As for the husband, he clearly wasn't on his game if he didn't give you a few suggestive eye-rolls in the direction of his crotch.

Bogans like that shit me to tears. Do your country proud and make a fucking scene, arseholes.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Poser - you're a funny girl...and yes, I've been to Turkey (and I'm going back in a couple of weeks time - yay!)

Lewis, I promise that no money exchanged hands.

12oti - this was definitely a display of bogan-hood...

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Jaala - I wasn't surprised. At all.

Aims, who knows. Maybe Jaala does mean penis size?

Mootant - I was going to ask what part of New Zealand they came from if they struck up conversation. They were as Australian as, so I figured that'd be kind of insulting, he he....

Jaala a dit…

Aims I was meaning us Aussie woman - we're not all like that!(well I hope to think) But still doesn't surprise me.

But now come to think of it - doesn't surprise me about the size either :)

alan a dit…

I think they were oversharing, if you ask me.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Jaala, size isn't everything, but it helps, right?

Alan, definitely. But then I'm not one to make that judgement (as a chronic over-sharer myself)...

Ksam a dit…

PLEASE tell me they thought you were French and didn't understand what they were saying!

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

Oh admit it, you enjoyed every moment of that!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Ksam, I got out my french magazine and pretended that I didn't have a clue...he he

Marjolein, I loved it. It was very un-classy...

Victor a dit…

That's how you can identify we Aussie men....


...by our impressive erections...

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Victor, I'm fairly experienced in the male of the Aussie species. And I can say that it's never been a let-down on that front....

When I reread that it makes me sound like a slut. Hmm.

Daryl a dit…

Oh these comments remind me .. HBO is airing a new series called Hung... yup ...

Henry North London a dit…

How come you get all the fun stuff?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Daryl...Hung? sounds, erm, interesting...

Henry, I guess I'm just observant with an eye for the strange...?

Wilf a dit…

Wow, I've seen some things on trains but they usually involve vomit and strange toilets rather than anything this... exciting?

I look forward to your tales of the stag night

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Wilf...all life is on the train, that's for sure.

Louise a dit…

You, churlish? NEVER!

The rest? I can only laugh. It was meant to be that you sat there because who but you could relay such a story?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Louise, it was my destiny. but it was a bit much to be honest...

conortje a dit…

I'm shocked that he hit him - crazy!what happened to good old pinching and pulling hair?

conortje a dit…

yeah, that was meant for the other post - jeez, I need to get away - hey I AM!