Meanwhile, however, I wanted to tell you about my trip home this evening.
On the way back from Amsterdam I stopped over in Antwerp to catch up with a colleague and to go see some customers that I hadn't seen in a while.
So this evening, when I boarded the train back from Antwerp to Paris, the train was already pretty crowded, what with it starting, as it does, in Amsterdam.
The Thalys has allocated seats and, lo and behold, my seat was already taken by someone who wanted to sit next to their girlfriend and who 'thought I wouldn't mind swapping'. Well, I'd have preferred to be asked, but hey, I wasn't going to be churlish about it.
So this is how I found myself taking the fourth seat with three Australians....three drunk Australians. Mother, Daughter and Mother's husband. Mother and hubbie were about 55 years old; daughter 30-35.
So, daughter heads off to the train bar to buy a (third) bottle of rosé, and mother shuffles down in her seat.
From my seat next to hubbie, I'm in the prime location to see mother's foot pop up from under the table and into his lap.
And with her shoeless foot, she starts to massage his penis through his trousers.
In a true-blue Aussie male way, he reaches for the box of chips and says to her "want a Pringle love?"
"If I wanted one, I'd just take one" she said, flirtatiously. Scarily flirtatious.
"You always take everything you want," he said.
"Well," said she, coquettishly, and still rubbing his dick with her foot, "well, I want you to give me something tonight at the hotel".
I mean really, there's only so much a boy can take.
I'd have moved seats had the train not been quite so full.
And if the husband hadn't actually been quite a hottie, in an older mannish kind of way.
And if his erection hadn't been quite so alarmingly, well, erm, impressive....