mercredi 1 juillet 2009

First I was afraid, I was petrified

Last night I went for dinner with Skaterboy and a couple of his friends. The invitation seemed innocent enough, but as the evening progressed I got the feeling that I was there to get the approval (or not) of his friends. It was a bit, erm, unusual.

As we walked back to mine, I decided to ask him.

"Was I being assessed back there? Being judged?"

"What do you mean?" said Skaterboy.

"Well, I felt like Fantasia Burrito waiting for Randy Jackson to tell her that she's 'da bomb', you know?"

He laughed, as he does when he has no idea of what I'm talking about. I guess translating 'da bomb' into French didn't help.

"Well, if this is going somewhere" he said, "it's important that you get along with my friends..."

And that's when I slammed on the mental brakes. I screeched to a halt.

"If this is going somewhere?" I said.

"Well, you know, I like my boyfriends to get along with my friends."

While the idea of boyfriends seemed quite nice as we were walking home, hand in hand, through a balmy Paris evening, the reality hit once we got back to my place.

As we were getting down to business, I couldn't stop thinking about the Florida Boy. I'd missed his call while I was at dinner with Skaterboy. Given a choice between being where I was - in bed, banging the brains out of the hot frenchman - or returning FB's call, I knew that I wanted to be on the phone.

So, as I headed off to work this morning, leaving Skaterboy dozing in my bed, I realised that I had to sort this out. I had to stop this guy from thinking we were anything more than friends that fuck.

But, to be honest, I'm not even sure about the friends that fuck thing anymore. If I'm thinking of FB while I'm in bed with someone else, if I'm wishing it was him, if it's his face that I want to be seeing next to me, then surely this is telling me something.

As my DumbAss Yank friend would say, I'm a smitten kitten.

Oh boy. This should be a great moment.

So why do I feel scared?

21 commentaires:

alan a dit…

Dudeio! I think you're answering your own questions over the last couple of posts... well, not that part about the poo on the floor, but the fuzzy feelings stuff.

"Work it out, dawg" (or some other Randy Jackson incomprehensible saying). hugs for travelling!xox

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Alan, I need to work it out dawg indeed. And get a grip. And then stop being a slut.

RamblingMan a dit…

i think you're afraid of giving up the friends with benefits lifestyle.
PS you need to write a book :-)

Pure Poser a dit…

OMG YOU LOVE FLORIDA BOY!!!

Don't even dare start the schmerious crap cos you know you do and I'm banging my head on the wall in frustration.

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

Yep, you're in love. And it's scary because it's something you want and you're really not sure if it will work out? At least it was in my case when I just started dating my now boyfriend.

Daryl a dit…

LOVE the new look... and commitment is scary, if you arent terrified you shouldnt commit. I mean it.

aims a dit…

If we can all see it sweetie - why can't you?

Give it up Travellin. You've taken the hook line and sinker.

Long distance love affairs are very hard - and not in a good way. But if it is meant to be - it will work out.

RamblingMan has a good point. You are afraid of giving up your inconsequential affairs.....and then Daryl has nailed it right on the head. Don't do it unless you are terrified.

Rob Inukshuk a dit…

Travelling, But Now In Love!

Victor a dit…

They all say it and so do I.

You are in love.

conortje a dit…

love is in the air, everywhere I look around... is this just a roundabout way of saying that skaterboy's friends hated you hehehe

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Rambling Man, I think you're possibly right - it's a good lifestyle to give up though!

Poser - frustration schmustration, I say, he he

Marjolein, oh yeah, scared a lot...

travelling, but not in love a dit…

D, thanks - I'm not sure about the new look yet. And I think you're right on the commitment thing. Let's wait and see...

Aims, I think I could see it if it didn't scare me so much...he he

Rob, STOP THAT NOW!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Victor, maybe. Just maybe. that's all I'm giving...

Big C - they LOVED ME! Of course! I mean really, why wouldn't they? What's not to love?

cb a dit…

You are in a bit of a quandary, my friend.

Since FB is in... Well... Florida, I suggest you cultivate a new fuckbuddy. One that is just about the sex.

And nevah evah evah let them spend the night.

Evah.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CB, I think you have a point. This staying over mullarkey is getting a bit weird. And it's becoming a 'thing'.....hmm.

Pure Poser a dit…

You're so evil.
Oh look, theres blood on the wall now.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Poser - what does it say! what does it say!

Valleys Mam a dit…

told ya !!!!!!!!!!
so stop fucking about and go see him

travelling, but not in love a dit…

VM - I would be I'm off to Turkey this week...then he's over pretty soon after...really, it'll fly by.

12ontheinside a dit…

and that is why you should never let a f-buddy stay the night. Too tempting for them to think it more.

Louise a dit…

You know what you want. So do it.