This guy comes over, clearly drunk. He turns to my Newly Forty Friend and says...
"You're sexy, man"
"Thanks" says NFF, and carries on talking to us.
"I'm good at eating ass" says the drunk guy. I apologise for the potty talk, but that's what he said, in French.
"Whatever" says NFF.
"Well, how about this?" says the guy. "It's 23cms you know..."
And with that, he flops out one of the largest penises I have ever seen. In the middle of the bar. Opens the trousers and flops it out. Just like that.
Well, it was impressive enough in terms of both length and girth, but that wasn't what will stick in my memory.
The penis, it seems, came with its own individual perfume. A scent so strong and malodourous that I could smell it from where I was sat - at least ten feet away. It smelt like a slice of gorgonzola that had been stuffed inside an old man's sock and left out in the sun for a day or two.
As eyes started to water and people started to dry retch, the NFF turned to the drunk guy.
"Think about washing it ever?" he said.
"Sometimes I wash him" said the drunk guy. "But he doesn't like the water so much".
And with that, I picked up my drink and went in search of alternative entertainment.
France may be famous for cheese but, trust me, this was a fromage too far.