jeudi 20 août 2009

Yes, I'm the best man for the job

Thursday, and the nerves have started to kick in. Well, not the nerves so much as the despair. And the anger. And the pissy-ness. And the general feeling of 'why me?'.

I'm the best man at a friend's wedding on Saturday and I'd be underselling the situation if I said I was not happy.

Firstly, I'm not sure how I got the gig in the first place - this is a friend that I see once a year (if I really work hard to coordinate our diaries), that I didn't speak to for ten years (a falling out that involved broken noses, smashed teeth and a bottle or three), and who has an ex-wife and two fairly old kids that I have never met.

Secondly, the cost of the whole thing is now starting to annoy me. Here goes:

€500 - travel to Amsterdam, accommodation and spends for Stag Weekend
€400 - new suit for wedding
€250 - accommodation for the night of the wedding, renting a car to get to wedding, etc
€180 - shirt and shoes for wedding
€150 - wedding gift

So, it's cost me well over €1,000 euros to go to this wedding and be the Best Man. In what world is that right?

And to make matters worse, they had the cheek to say "don't buy us a wedding gift, we're asking people to make a cash donation to the honeymoon". If you can't afford your honeymoon, sweetheart, don't go on one....or so I'd suggest.

The final nail in the coffin happened yesterday evening.

My Crackberry pinged to tell me an email had arrived...

"Hi everyone, the friday night pre-wedding dinner has been booked and we're really looking forward to seeing you all there" it said.

"The restaurant is lovely, the food isgreat and I'm sure we'll all have a great time - see the menu attached".

I clicked on the link.

Starters - £18 to £24
Main courses - £30 to £40
Desserts - £15 to £20

I closed the link and sat there stunned. On top of everything else, I have to spend a hundred quid on dinner the night before the wedding?

How do I get out of this one?


I guess I should have said no when I had a chance, right?

14 commentaires:

Breenlantern a dit… about stepping in it big time. Honestly, if you have not spent any of the money yet and this dude is not part of your life or anyone you will miss, can you just claim "illness" and blow it off? I normally would be horrified at a best man bailing a week before the wedding (mine did) and I have NO idea what got you to agree to this debacle in the first place, but life is short and doesn't sound like you owe this guy anything, including your valuable moeny and time. For what it's worth, I say you have every right to blow it off and let the friendship go. FYI: I think it tres tacky to ask guest to pay for the honeymoon or dinner or in any way to specifically ask for cash for a gift. I agree-if you can't afford it, don't do it. Good riddance i say.

cb a dit…

Honestly you should have said no at the beginning. One should only be "best man" for a truly good friend. Otherwise, it's ok to say "Id love to come to the wedding, but I fear I am not up for the best man responsibilities at the moment".

As for dinner- just come up with some excuse. Tired. Not feeling well. Something.

Anonyme a dit…

Easy you have to do your speech for the wedding and as you have a late supper meeting with your boss, you just can't fit this event in
If you had known before etc etc etc

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Hi Sean, long time no see over here! I wish I could get out of it without causing offence and distress, but hey - trop tard. I'll grin and bear it.

CB - yep, should've said no from the get-go....

VM - think it's too late for excuses, but I'm going to try on the friday night....

Daryl a dit…

GAH .. I say just go with it .. and be thankful you arent being asked as the best man to pay for anything more

travelling, but not in love a dit…

D, I guess it could be sooo much worse....

Lola a dit…

This is a coincidence - I've just posted my wedding rant on my blog. This just adds to the ammunition.

But now you've got yourself into such a scrape, there's no way out without causing offence. You just have to decide whether and how much to cause.

Anonyme a dit…

I fear it is too late to wriggle out of anything but the Friday night dinner.....oh, and Sunday lunch?

The Mutant a dit…

Wait a minute, they're not springing this dinner on you as a last minute thing, are they?

Look, at the very least, as a best man you're expected to sleep with the groom, so at least you'll get laid. Seriously though, how did you end up in this situation. You should've come up with some bullshit about marriage being an affront to your sensibilities and left it at that.

You don't even know this dude! Well, you do but not closely. Fuck that shit!

Bail. Epic Bail. GTFO (get the fuck out) before you end up with a crazy tale to tell us all. Actually on second thoughts... You have fun at that wedding won't you darling!

Mike a dit…

wow. that's kind of a horrible situation to be stuck with. i'm actually taking part in my baby brother's wedding in toronto in 2 weeks myself. although, i'm just one of the groomsman, i, too, have to pay for everything as well. he's my brother so i really can't say, "No." can i???

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Lola, as big and brave as I am, I don't think I can pull out now. Besides, the money is already spent...hmph.

Rob, yep, too late baby. Baby, it's too late. In the words of the prophet....

Mutant - you'll get stories, trust me. And btw, and fyi, we only ever got to second base....

Mike, good luck with that - at least you get a trip to Toronto...even though you're paying :-(

Anonyme a dit…

Bloody hell. Too late to get out of it now (although the dinner, if it's a last minute thing you could come up with an excuse for).
Think of it as a character building experience. Though lord knows you have plenty of character already.

aims a dit…

Since it is now Monday that I get to sit down and read this - I'm wondering how it all went.

Lord darling - you get yourself into some stuff!

Louise a dit…

Yes, you should have. But of course you looked smashing in your suit.