lundi 24 août 2009

The most dangerous wedding guest ever?

Saturday saw the wedding of the year - with me as 'Best Man'. Can you imagine anyone less well equipped for the role? Me either.

Anyway, it all went pretty smoothly - despite the major panic that seemed to set in for the bridegroom as the event approached.

At the dinner table I was seated next to the groom's father - a lovely old Ulsterman with a questionable past. He was explaining to me - at length - about how he had been a 'bad lad' when he was growing up.

"You know I had to leave Belfast when I was 14?" he told me. "I'd held up a local factory with a shotgun and stolen their wagepackets, so it was time to leave."

"Gosh," said I. "That's, erm, great"

He then alluded to having something to do with the Birmingham pub bombings - which I presume was a drunken 'boast' - but by this point the musical 'entertainer' had arrived. As the music guy got into his set the Groom's father turned to me again...

"This guy is terrible" he said.

I agreed.

"Someone needs to shoot him" he continued, in his thick Ulster brogue.

I've never felt so sorry for a wedding singer.

I hope he made it home without being jumped by men in balaclavas.....

7 commentaires:

The Mutant a dit…

Wait, that's it? That's the highlight of the evening? There's nothing wrong with that, but what did you do to make the night memorable?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Mutant, relax. There's more on the way. Just hold on to your horses dear. Jeez.

Pure Poser a dit…

That guy is a fecking nutter!

Daryl a dit…

Lovely man ...

cb a dit…

Worth every farthing of the 1000 quid you spent??

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Poser, mais oui...an absolute nutter

D, really lovely...

CB, yep, worth every pound, shilling and pence. Or not. That's right. Not.

aims a dit…

This is it? I was expecting more. Sigh.