dimanche 3 mai 2009

perspective

What kind of a day is this?

I'm trying to sound positive, but I'm actually pretty down at heart.

My cousin's doctors have told her husband that she'll pass in the next couple of days.  She's a beautiful girl, suffering from awful cancer.  Her two boys - aged 9 and 11 - have been spending as much time as they can with their Mom, but she's tired.

Her Father - he's my Uncle, but my Aunt isn't her mother, if that makes sense - I know really well.  He's a 70 year old man with a quiet dignity, a great sense of humour and a love for life.  As a kid, I remember him as the uncle who'd tickle you into submission, the one who'd have a bad joke that he was desperate to tell you, the one who plays with my brother's kids the same as he used to play with us.  I spoke to him this morning and he's broken.

To have this guy cry down the phone to me is just awful.  Awful.  I can feel my heart breaking for him, even as I type this.  

I know that he'd swap places with his daughter in a blink.  I know that he'd do anything to stop this.  I know that he has no idea what to do anymore.

To me the worst part of this whole situation is seeing/hearing my Uncle and knowing the pain that he carries in his every waking minute.  Not that he sleeps anymore.  He is simply beside himself with grief.  He's lost.  His reality has shifted and I'm not sure it will ever shift back for him.

My Aunt told me two weeks ago that my cousin had been out shopping, buying gifts for her sons' 18th and 21st birthdays.  As she told me this, we both had to take a minute.  Neither of us was able to speak through the tears.  How did that girl find the courage to stand in a store and make those decisions?  Make those purchases that will be so very important to her boys?

Life is hard sometimes.  Life is horrible sometimes.

Enjoy your life.  Live it to the full.  Love your friends and family.  Find someone to love you back.

These are the words of my cousin.  

These are her wishes for her sons.

15 commentaires:

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

That's some good advice. Life's too short to not enjoy it.

Lane a dit…

That's just unspeakably sad.

Thinking of you. x

Valleys Mam a dit…

What do they say ,life's a bitch and you die.
I don't agree, we do what we can with the cards we are given.Some are good some are bad .Dealing with death is something we are not good at . we don't talk about it.Its easier when we do.
Too many young people seem to be dying lately.
Its also very difficult when you are away from the heart of your family.
Thoughts are with you hun xxx

aims a dit…

I hate this insidious disease.

Why - with all the money that is thrown at it - why haven't they come up with a cure for even one type of cancer?

I kicked it and I don't know how but I've lost a number of loved ones to it.

It's always the same - that feeling of helplessness and the gut-tearing sadness as you watch them lose the battle.

My thoughts are with you and yours dear TBNIL.

Pure Poser a dit…

Thats so sad, it's made me cry.

Thinking of you and your family babes. xxx

L a dit…

Very well put. So sorry to hear your news, thinking of you and your family xx

A Lewis a dit…

My Dear Friend, best to you and your family. Through the tears and heartache, know that I'm here...thinking, wishing, feeling, loving, hoping.

Victor a dit…

I don't have the words for this situation. I'm sorry for you and your family members and I just hope your cousin's final days are as peaceful as possible.

The Mutant a dit…

What you and your family must be going though right now is absolutely heart breaking. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

However, I hope I'm not too out of place if I stand and applaud your cousin - what an amazing and courageous woman.

You're lucky to have been touched by her in this lifetime.

Daryl a dit…

Very sad and brave of her ... I hope she passes gently in her sleep with her family holding her hands ... I am so very sorry for you and your family. xo

DSS a dit…

so very sorry to hear that your family is going through this. your cousin is truly amazing. that she has purchased 18th and 21st gifts for her children. they will, no doubt, treasure those forever. what a wonderful gift she is giving them....

The Pixy Princess a dit…

I'm not sure that any words, however well crafted would be enough. I whisper a prayer for her, and for her loved ones.

12ontheinside a dit…

So sorry to hear about this - how very touched her children will be to receive those gifts.

The Hangar Queen a dit…

She speaks truth.
Are we hearing it though?

Keeping you close.

Anthony a dit…

*hugs*