Ah yes, this year was no exception. All the freaks were there.
From the big old Greek poofter dancing on top of a big hair straightener (it would take a lot to straighten this boy out, trust me) to the strangely asexual German 'heartthrob' bumping and grinding with Dita von Teese. From the big Maltese girl belting her heart out, to the English girl getting a violin bow in the eye (really, she did).
We had the elegant superstar Patricia Kaas crooning for France being beaten by the ridiculous Azerbaijanis who seemed to have forgotten that the 80's are over. But maybe they're not over yet in Baku? Azerbaijan is the 'land of fire' as their points person told us at least fifteen times during her ten-second slot.
As a side issue, I did once know of a girl from Baku with a ten-second slot, but this one was slightly different.
The Russians put on a fabulous show, and everyone seemed to be having a lovely time. Alas, if only the Swedish girl had hit those notes (any of them). If only the Turks had been able to sing as well as dance. If only Britain hadn't put Andrew Lloyd Webber on the stage.
But, for once, partisan voting seemed to be a thing of the past. Sure, Croatia gave top marks to Bosnia and Greece got douze points from Cyprus, but this year it seemed musical talent won the day.
Very early on it was obvious that Norway were going to win.
The little boy singing did indeed look like a hobbit. But that's not such a bad thing. He had a great song, and some very good dancers to giddy things up a bit. He was bound to win.
And win he did - with a huge majority.
It all put me in mind of the year that Abba won with Waterloo.
As the French commentators said yesterday evening - "Abba were lucky that year - France had pulled out due to national mourning and so the Swedes had an easy ride to the winning spot".
God bless the French. With Patricia Kaas ending up way down the table there'll be a lot of ooh-la-la-ing to look forward to over the next few days.
No doubt they'll come up with a good excuse.
National pride does have to be protected at all costs, after all...