mercredi 4 mars 2009

Slow down, you move too fast

So, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm, like, the fastest person on the planet. Built for speed. Racing snake. Speedy Gonzales. But I doubt it.

No matter where I went with brother at the weekend, it was always at half speed. Half speed and accompanied by constant cries of 'slow down, for fuck's sake'. Nice.

I was almost constantly ten feet ahead of him, then stopping, waiting for him to catch up, then immediately ten feet ahead again. He told me to stop running at one stage.

And I'd tried really hard. Not only had I walked really slowly, but I'd also caught the métro when I'd normally walk, and I'd thought about where we were going and planned things near to métro stations. We'd changed trains at the smaller métro stations to avoid long walks between trains and I'd even offered a taxi at one point.

I always sought out the station exits with escalators rather than stairs and I made sure that, once in the Louvre, we took the shortest route possible to the Mona Lisa.

There were regular coffee stops, and plenty of cake shops along the route. I made sure blood sugar levels remained constant, and that toilet breaks were possible.

I was a good host.

I was in the kitchen and could hear my brother in the guest bedroom. He was talking on the phone to his wife.

"You might not recognise me when I get home", he said to her. "He's walked me so far that I've lost five kilos and I'm four inches shorter than when I left. I'm sure he's just doing it to show me how unfit I am".

If only.

Next time, we'll do it at my pace.

We'll soon see how that goes down.

17 commentaires:

Elfinamsterdam a dit…

I have the same issue when people come to visit me. I'm pretty small so I didn't think I could walk that fast. But it seems I do.

Also unless you are cycling, walking is the best bet around Amsterdam. Trams are possible but they are a pain in the neck especially with tourists.

I always get guests looking at me in shock saying, cant we have another coffee..

Its not like I want to see all these things for the 40th time... they were on their lists!! :)

Patience Traveling, patience... else we'll kill!

Nice to meet you in IBA09 btw!

Brett a dit…

Just read your last few updated, picked up what has been a crap day so far for me, thanks

conortje a dit…

You should have kept on telling him that the destination was just round the next corner :-)

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

And you're not much taller than your brother? I have the same issue with my boyfriend; his legs are about 30cm longer than mine so for every step he takes I have to take two and it's exhausting.

Louise a dit…

B@$&@^D!! Invite him back next weekend and do it your way--all of it.

A Lewis a dit…

Ahh, you've struck another common nerve! We've got a family member that, when he visits, moves at a snail's pace, at best. He'll react to scenes, places, situations about an hour after the fact. And we find him still sitting in the car, seatbelt on, when we're out of the car and crossing the parking lot for the restaurant. It does lend itself to interesting conversation.

Anonyme a dit…

I'm afraid my sympathy is with your brother on this one.
As someone who is a good 8 inches shorter than the avergae person , my legs don't cover nearly the same distance with each stride

whatis a pleasant stroll for some is like a forced route march for me

Z

aims a dit…

Couch potatoes are the biggest whiners!

Anthony a dit…

Try rolling him along next time ....

Daryl a dit…

LOL ... well, his loss of stones and inches might be a good thing... I wonder what his wife said in reply ... perhaps.. stay til you lose the rest of the lard?

cb a dit…

You scheduled "toilet breaks"?? You mean he wasn't satisfied just crashing yours??

12ontheinside a dit…

My boyfriend travels all of life at a different pace than me - he doesn't really walk, he ambles along. I'm a stress head, and walk really fast. I have learned to slow down and he's learned to speed up a little, although I still find myself sometimes waiting at the end of every block. However - get the boyfriend into a shopping centre or grocery shop, and he is like a dynamo - he's toured 5 aisles while I'm still perusing over the first item on the list. (So I know he CAN move fast when he wants to, the ratbag!)
I'm not surprised you scheduled toilet breaks while out, you probably wanted to encourage him to use other people's toilets in case he broke yours again.

softinthehead a dit…

It sounds like you are having a great time LOL!! I am not a stroller either, to me that is more exhausting than walking "normally". Keep smiling :)

Valleys Mam a dit…

I cannot walk too slowly, it gives me a bad back.I like to walk at a reasonable pace,I am tall and do take long strides , but not that fast.I have run behind some very fast walkers though, ususally vegetarians who are fitness walkers,now I refuse to go with them anywhere.
My motto moderation in all things,I guess your pace isnt excessive, your bro just is not used to walking.
Told you to send him home didnt I lol.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Hi Elf, nice to see you here and lovely to meet you in Cork....I agree - Amsterdam is best seen on foot...

Brett, hope it got better ;-)

Big C - you'd know all about that little trick, wouldn't ye now? huh? huh?

Marjolein, my brother does have short legs, but that's not the point!

Louise - if only my dear, if only...

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Lewis, don't get me started on the 'still in the car when I'm already in the shop thing'....drives me bananas...

Z - if you're small then it's ok. He's just slow...

Aims, so true, as ever!

LaTanya, he he. I can see it now...very funny!

Daryl, I fear that I'd be accused of being in a glass house throwing stones...he he

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CB - toilets are a whole other issue. Don't get me started...

12oti - so he does strategic speeding up? That's just plain sneaky. Ditch him! he he

Softy, Slow walking drives me mad and tires me out too...

VM - you always give the best advice....one of these days I'll follow it! x