mardi 3 mars 2009

Is that a gun in your pocket?

"You sound like you have your head down the toilet", said Lovely Paris Friend, calling from his southern idyll in Castres on Friday evening.

"I do", said I. "I'm changing the seat."

"Good God."

"I know. They call me Homo-Brico".

And so began the weekend of manly activities.

Within hours of arriving, my super-sized brother had broken the toilet seat, leading me to a late, last-minute dash to buy another and get it fitted before we went out 'on the town'.

Out on the town largely involved a beer or two before returning home to a dvd and an early night. In fact, every night this last weekend saw me in bed before midnight. I would lie there thinking 'surely this isn't Saturday night' and imagining what my friends were all up to.

To be honest, I started to worry that I'd turn straight, what with all the early nights, Clint Eastwood movies, DIY escapades and manly chatter. That was until the football match on Sunday.

Now, I agree, football matches aren't the puffiest of activities, but this weekend I had to take what I could get. Seek out the gayness. Look for the sparkle in the dullest of environments.

The match was Paris Saint Germain versus Nancy, and I'd planned to cheer 'Nancy' all the way. However, this wasn't a good idea. PSG have a reputation for being the roughest team in the league, with the Boulogne Boys being their extreme right-wing supporters. Naturally I had managed to buy a pair of seats just by their 'enclave' in the Boulogne stand.

My brother loved this though, and kept saying how he wished his home team (for whom he has a season ticket) had such animated fans. The filthy dirty chants were funny. The flag waving and drum beating was rather cool. But when they started throwing flares (the fireworks, not the jeans) into other parts of the stand I started to worry.

Anyway, it seems this behaviour is all pretty much part of the show and the police dealt with it all effectively and swiftly. Which leads me to the reason I was happy to find myself at the football on a Sunday afternoon.

Just in front of our stand were a group of policemen, who were apparently employed to watch the crowd and keep an eye out for anything untoward. As it was a sporting event they were wearing their standard issue police tracksuits. Royal blue, and tight, tight, tight. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

In a bid to keep warm, the policemen would jog up and down in front of the stand. They must have been drinking Pepsi, because they certainly had 'more bounce to the ounce'. It was a sight to behold and certainly held my interest.

The thing is, I know that Paris cops carry guns, but boy were these guys packing. And they looked like they were ready to fire at any moment.

As the crowd jumped up to cheer the first of the four PSG goals, I found myself looking the other way, away from the goal to where the policemen stood. My brother looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

"See something you like down there?" He asked.

How to tell him that finally, I'd found a sporting activity that I could enjoy?

20 commentaires:

conortje a dit…

A crowd of nancy boys and you found the cute policemen - a man after my own heart!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Oh Big C, you'd have loved it...he he

Henry North London a dit…

Now that is something nice A man after my own heart indeed

H a dit…

...or are you just happy to see me?


Sorry. I just felt compelled to finish the title.

:)

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

Sounds like a nice view!

Daisy a dit…

Wow, finally a reason to watch sports! Sounds like some good brotherly bonding in any case!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Henry, it was a treat...

H, someone needed to. Well done you!

Marjolein, it was indeed. Worth the ticket price.

Daisy...I'm not sure about the bonding...but a good time was had.

Daryl a dit…

Ah crotch watching an ancient and much under appreciated sport .. glad to see you are reviving it

cb a dit…

Nancy didn't win?? Devil! But at least you got some eye candy.

Personally I enjoy sporting events for all the bluecollar straight hotties.

aims a dit…

There's something about a man in a tight uniform - especially in the basket region. *drool*

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Daryl, it's a dirty job, but you know, someone's gotta do it...

CB - I'm with you on that...

And Aims, oh yes, a nice tight uniform, ha ha!

Pure Poser a dit…

ooh, nothing like a man in uniform. me and a girlfriend are determined to shag one someday. ;D

12ontheinside a dit…

He broke your toilet seat? In only a few days? He must have some powerful... er, never mind.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Poser, erm, you should give it a go!

12oti, not only that but he got through four toilet rolls in three days. That's not right, is it?

Sassy Sundry a dit…

Oh yes. I would have been looking at the police too.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

And that's why your sundries are sassy, miss.

A Lewis a dit…

Broke the toilet seat? Oh my. I'd still be laughing. Or devoting an entire blog post to it.

Louise a dit…

Thank goodness there was SOMETHING interesting there, because I was getting worried about you myself.

Did any of them look back??

Anonyme a dit…

I love a man in uniform ......
but I do prefer him out of it :)


Z

Victor a dit…

Reminds me of the days when I used to host a friend of mine to watch Rugby internationals at a stadium where I am a member.

I'm not keen on Rugby having been required to play it badly at school and was rarely interested in the match so spent most of my time watching the handsome men in the crowd.