samedi 7 mars 2009

F.R.O.

I had my haircut today.  

As you know, I hate doing this.  Today was no exception.  I was hungover and sleepy, but I knew that I needed to avoid queueing if this was going to be anywhere near painless.  So I jumped out of bed, ran through the shower and arrived at the coiffeurs bright and early.  At, ahem, 11am.

Apart from the guy with downs syndrome who wanted to practice his limited English on me, there was no-one else waiting.  But it's surprising how long ten minutes can be when you keep getting asked "do you have any brothers and sisters" over and over again.  He's a lovely guy, but next time I'm in the queue with him, I'm going to pretend to be French.

Anyway, it's my turn to step up to the big chair.  The barber is chirpy, as per fecking usual, and wants to chat.  I don't.

"How old are you then?" he asks.  I tell him.

"No way!" he exclaims.  "I thought you were at least five years younger than that".

I thank him for the compliment.

"But you know," he says, "it's harder to see the wrinkles on fat people."

For fuck's sake.  

Even for a Frenchman that's just plain rude.  

21 commentaires:

Lane a dit…

Nooooo! And it's not even true ... b@sard.

New hairdresser next time maybe?

red a dit…

ha ha ha ha. i feel better about my butchered head now. hope your haircut was nice at least. x

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Lane, I'm sticking with him - he's cheap, does a decent job and at least I know what insults to expect....

Red, it's fine. A bit short, but it'll grow. Not so traumatic for us boys, I guess....

Mike a dit…

where i live, the mexican barbers are the best. they don't talk to me though. i must either scare them or they don't speak english. ;-)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Mike, I think it may be a bit of both....he he

softinthehead a dit…

LOL - but of course I don't believe it. With all that speed walking and disco dancing you must be waiflike. :)

knifepainter a dit…

Cheeky fucker !!!

My barber is a twenty stone sweaty racist bigot.......it's not like I have a choice.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Softy, oh how I wish you were right...

KP - and the optician told me on the same day that my right ear is unnaturally higher than my left one. I tell you, these french have a way with words....

12ontheinside a dit…

Ahahaha! This made me choke on my breakfast.

Victor a dit…

I could (just) cope better with chatty hairdressers if they had better language skills. So many of ours seem to be new arrivals or overseas students earning some money between classes.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

12oti - I thank you. I live to serve.

Victor, I guess it's an easy business to set up in a new country....

conortje a dit…

good to know the Dutch have some competition :-)

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

Oh what does he know anyway... Never listen to hairdressers. One hairdresser I went to said my hair was almost dead and I had been treating it wrong and I should know better than to use a certain type of elastic bands, and then the next hairdresser I went to commented that my hair is so super healthy and easy to handle etc. Right.
Did the haircut turn out okay though?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Big C, in a superbitch-rudeness fight to the death I'd always be happy to see France versus les Pays Bas! ha ha.

Marjolein, the haircut seems to have brought me some good luck, but more on that at a later post....

Greg a dit…

He actually said that?!

If only you had countered with, "Yes, I can tell just by looking at you." But then, he was the one with the scissors.

aims a dit…

I prefer a hairdresser that doesn't talk much either - and not because I might be feeling a tad anti-social at the time. But because the sound of scissors snipping excites me. There you have it! I'm weird.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Greg, if only - but he was stick thin, so he'd have just thought me crazy...

Aims, you are! I agree, ha ha.

Brett a dit…

That must be why we love the french

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Bret, tonight I really love them. Well, one of them in particular...

Daryl a dit…

Oh ... clearly this man and the child who insulted my friend last week are kindred spirits ... I hope you didnt tip him

Louise a dit…

Snort!

I like it when hairdressers talk about themselves and I don't even have to listen because they don't shut up.

Please tell me you had a good comeback!