samedi 31 janvier 2009

Sushi, darling

Well, there I was, just minding my own business.  I was at Matsuri, the lovely sushi bar, happily enjoying a midday beer and watching the beautiful, delicious food slide past on the conveyor.

Truly, this is one of the best lunches in the world.  An Asahi beer and all the sushi you can eat (or can afford, it's not the cheapest place in the world).  And the food just keeps on coming.  Sailing past your nose on the conveyor belt of earthly temptations.  I don't know how but it seems I only ever choose one or two things and end up with six empty plates in front of me.

Anyway, I'm sat watching the unagi conga it's way round the tables and my trancelike state is disturbed by a group of Brits coming to sit opposite me.

Anywhere else in Paris and the Brits would be fine - tourists, inoffensive largely, as long as you close your ears when they massacre the local lingo.  But this is the rue du Bac.  Home to English folk what work here.  Posh English folk what work here.  Folk with nannies called Yasmeena and who 'do lunch' at the drugstore. Yuk.

So I'm bracing myself for much nuisance conversation.  Discreetly I put away my English book and pull out a French magazine.

"So, how was the Bon March" said first posh girl.  She pronounced it Bon March - not Bon Marché, as it is spelt.  I'm cringeing already.

"Well", said Posh boy, "you know how she is".  He points at second posh girl.  "Looks lovely in everything but refuses to wear anything that's not a sack".  He gives her a squeeze and she looks at him like he's just the most impossibly dreamy darling boy this side of Sloane Square.

" - " said second posh girl.  Actually, I think it was a word, but it might just have been so posh that it was beyond the hearing capacity of normal folk.

"Really, darling, are you still doing that?" asked FPG.  "I haven't done that since school.  But we were all at it then.  Used to hold each others hair out of the way and everything."

"Actually, I'm eating healthily these days", said SPG, "but I just can't keep the weight on".

And so the conversation went on.  They chatted about nothing.  About awful people that they knew and how daddy's business was doing so well despite, well, everything, darling.

The second posh girl stuffed her face.  Stuffed it.  Ate more than me.

As I was at the cash desk paying my bill, I noticed her coming back from the bathroom.  She looked a little green and dishevelled, but doing a good job of pretending that she hadn't spent the last ten minutes being reunited with her lunch.

Lovely to see that she's living the dream of posh girls everywhere - flat in Paris, fancy lunch with darling friends, a good old spew and the promise of a shag from a chinless wonder.

Diana would be proud.


10 commentaires:

aims a dit…

I would just like to wring her skinny little neck. More like I would like to wring the neck of her so-called friends.

Of course I know it's an illness and we must be gentle with her. And this coming from me! But apparently no-one is stopping her or trying to help her.

I just read of a model who died from this. She weighed in at all of 88lbs when she died - of starvation. 5'8" and 88lbs. And it killed her. So worth it don't you think?

There were plenty of young girls like this in the psyche ward with me. They were closely monitored by the staff to make sure they ate and kept it down as well. 24 hours a day. So no different than those of us who were monitored so that we didn't kill ourselves with a noose or whatever else we could get our hands on. Same same.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Aims, I've never understood people who starve themselves/throw up after eating - probably because I'm the total opposite. In fact, maybe I'm a bit too far towards the other end of the spectrum.....ahem.

Daryl a dit…

I dont get it .. really its wasteful and frankly who knows who was knelling in front of the throne before she sent her lunch to the fishes ... throwing up is gross .. frankly if you want to develop an eating disorder starving is a lot more pleasant ... and you dont get your hair or knees dirty .. AND you save $$$

Lane a dit…

I don't get it either and yes I know we have to try and understand but if you want your cake you should keep it, not waste it. Donate it at least.

Louise a dit…

This was my favorite part: "Discreetly I put away my English book and pull out a French magazine."

Perfect!

But SUSHI? I don't eat sushi. Sue me, but the idea of it going down in the first place doesn't appeal to me. Must it not be a most hideous thing coming back up? I'm glad I'm not posh.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

D, I agree - it's just money down the drain...

Lane, have your cake and keep it - i like it!

Louise, sushi is SO good - and it's so much more than just slices of raw fish...although that is really, really good!

12ontheinside a dit…

Ugh. Such bad timing - I read this while eating breakfast. I was already feeling a little green this morning from the stupid early Monday morning back to work thing.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

12oti - I too am feeling monday morning green. i think living the weekend in a different time zone doesn't help...

cb a dit…

Purging unagi is a crime against nature!! Oh and who on earth wants to reverse the gears after eating wasabi???

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CB - at least the sashimi will come nice and easy. Too vile for words....