samedi 3 janvier 2009

First class f*ckwits

On the Thalys north to Amsterdam there was an almighty panic. The train was no longer going to be stopping at Den Haag, nor would it stop at Schipol Airport. The announcement telling us this was made in French, Dutch, German and English. I understood it in all four languages, such was the clarity of the message.

Apparently, I was the only one.

Immediately there was panic amongst my fellow passengers. Especially the French.

"Is the train no longer going to Amsterdam?"

"But I am being met at Schiphol!"

"Did he say the train will terminate in The Hague?"

God help me. A more hapless bunch of travellers I’ve never met. Even my Mother would have worked out what was going on. But, as usually happens in such circumstances, people who would normally ignore their fellow travellers started to talk to each other.

The Australian girl behind me was chatting with the French woman across the aisle from me about how they would get to their respective friends/families if the train was going no further. Neither of them spoke each other’s language, yet despite this, they still managed to give each other completely incorrect information that the other one then believed.

"Anglaise?" said the old French lady to the Australian.

"No", she said. "Australia".

The old girl looked confused.

The Aussie girl picked up on this (remarkably) and jumped up out of her seat. Quick as a flash she was hopping down the aisle doing a kangaroo impression and shouting "Australia, Australia".

"Ah", said the old French lady. "Skeeepy".

"Yes", screamed the Australian, "Like Skippy, exactly!!!" And they both fell about, crying with laughter.

Sometimes I think it would be better if they didn’t give out free alcoholic drinks on the train.

13 commentaires:

Valleys Mam a dit…

Just like Arrva Trains Wales then, fucwits cymru. But I guess they only do two languages and that confuses all the Europeans

12ontheinside a dit…

How could it be better to not get alcoholic drinkies! The trouble was that you hadn't had enough...

Victor a dit…

Hey...are you making fun of we Kangaroo hopping Aussies?

:-)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

VM - train companies all over the world are the same, I'm sure....

12oti...I think you have a point. (note to self - drink more...)

Victor - Now, would I do that? he he

Brett a dit…

I've missed reading your post, its put a smile on my face

conortje a dit…

The free drinks are only for the posh folk liek yourself - I'm usually slumming it in second class :-(

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Hi Brett, nice to see you here, as per. Happy new year to you, hope 2009 is a good one.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Conortje, in the absence of cheap first class tickets, I'll also slum it....but the free food, drinks and wifi kind of help me make the move to first....

Daryl a dit…

I think you may owe me a new keyboard ... I just spit coffee all over it .. too funny .. woman jumping in the aisle ... too bad no one had a butterfly net

travelling, but not in love a dit…

D, noone wanted to catch this chick, trust me.....

Anthony a dit…

Australians ... they all need to be shot ....

travelling, but not in love a dit…

LaTanya, I'm not going to agree for fear of upsetting some of my regulars.

I'll just say that, as in every country, there is an element of the population that would certainly benefit from such activity.

Louise a dit…

I wish they would give out free alcoholic drinks on the plane!