jeudi 22 janvier 2009

Hi-yo Silver, away!

This morning saw a very late TBNIL rise from his bed. It was a very difficult birth, the doctors thought a c-section may be needed. But as they were about to start cutting I sprang from the womb-like bed, casting aside the comfort of the life-giving duvet and moving out into the harsh reality of THE NEW DAY.

Well, nothing so dramatic really, but it was indeed a difficult birth, so much I can confirm. I'd woken with my usual alarm at 06h30, turned it off, rolled over and gone straight back to sleep.

I woke with a start at 8h18. My usual train leaves at 7h45. I was late. Seriously late.

Clothes on, teeth clean, head under tap. Face washed, shoes done up, mobile found. Bag on shoulder, out the door, back for a wee. Remember watch, turn off radio, lock the door.

And so, at 8h34 I found myself sat on a train, stunned, feeling like I'd been teleported from one world to another. The journey from bed to train was 16 minutes. No time for coffee. No time for breakfast. No time to sit on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands going "why me, Lord, why me?" whilst rocking from side to side. In fact, no time whatsoever for my usual morning rituals.

Now, I'm at my desk and I want to cry.

It can't be right that work happens every single day for five days in a row, can it? How is this possible?

Is this really the great plan for human beings? What happened to hunter-gathering? What happened to the life you see in movies?

In movies, even if they have to go to work it looks like fun. Apart from in Schindlers list, maybe. That factory didn't look like fun. But better than the alternatives, I suppose.

And that's the crux of the problem. Is this life better than the alternatives? Well, if the alternative is no life then sure, it's much, much better. But that's not what I'm getting at.

Is this way of life better than the alternatives? Is this the best life I could have for myself?

Maybe it's the fact that I'm overwhelmingly tired. Maybe it's the fact that this year is the big birthday. But whatever it is, I want off of this treadmill.

I want to be the Lone Ranger, riding off into the sunset with Tonto by my side.

For the Lone Ranger, tomorrow was a new start, a new adventure, a ride on a horse and a gunfight.

It was never, ever, the 07h45 to Nanterre.

29 commentaires:

alan a dit…

ah, a case of the midweek blues, in ever I did hear one.

Does it help that tomorrow is Friday?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Alan, the short and sweet answer is 'nope'. But secretly I think it does help - I'm just being miserable about it. Grumpy, in fact.

Brett a dit…

I so agree with you, woke yesterday to hear the my company is in merger talks, what a crap start to a day.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Brett - that sounds like a bummer. Not a great start to a wednesday!

Lane a dit…

You need rest my boy and time to sit and rock.

You're right about it being better in films. In Working Girl she got to go to work on a ferry:-)

softinthehead a dit…

And in the movies there is always a witty soundtrack, what do you think yours would have been? I hate it when that happens, your day never goes right after that frantic start. Hope today is better :)

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

Hmmm.. time to make some changes maybe? Take up a new hobby, make a new career move?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Lane - but how cool is working girl? Love that film. And the Carly Simon theme tune....

Softy, not sure what mytheme song would be - currently Girls Aloud with 'the Promise' is getting me from the station to the office. I'm not proud of this....

Marjolein, maybe I just need a new alarm clock? he he

CawfeeGuy a dit…

TBNIL i think you and the Hangar Queen are vying for Best Opening Paragraph of a blog; you crack me up.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CG - I'm in very good company there then - HQ regularly cracks me up too. Love her!

tornwordo a dit…

Buck up, it's almost the weekend. (Does that work? I tell myself that and it usually doesn't, lol)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Torny, I know that tomorrow will see me bright eyed and bushy tailed - maybe the fact that I only work until 12h30 fridays helps!

Valleys Mam a dit…

Well aspiring Lone Ranger, change your life, maybe you are just not cut out for what you are doing ,in the way you are doing it.
I threw everything up a year ago,left the best paid job I had ever had and ventured out on my own.
I took three months out to decide what I wanted to do -cut back on my living costs etc to fund that. It wasnt that hard.
I have gradually built the business up over the past nine months, its now doing fine. But I work the way I love to.
My office is at home,I have business meetings in my dining room, clients love it.
My day begins and ends when I want it, unless I have to be some where at specific times.
My lifestyle is far less "trendy" but so much more enjoyable and calm.
Key hun is to decide what are your real priorities and sort out the path to get them

Daryl a dit…

Oh I SO hate oversleeping and then rushing to get out and to the office .. the whole day ends up sucking.

Next time, and there will be a next time, just accept that you are 'behind schedule' and then get yourself up/out without added stress .. the office will still be there ... along with all the other crap ... (((TBNIL))) .. and trust me it IS all about that BIG birthday, I know because I am still in denial over my last .. which I have decided IS my LAST .. no more #s .. cant cope.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

VM - sounds like you've got a nice set-up there! I think working from home works for some and not for others. For me, I found it isolating and the only thing I really enjoyed was having a lie-in in the morning!

D, I think you're right and normally I would accept it and take my time, except today was the second time this week...eek!

I defintely need a new alarm clock.

aims a dit…

You're going to hate that I'm retired and only 3 years older than you. Sigh. Such bliss.

Retirement is not all it's cracked up to be. I work harder than I use to...well some of the time.

Besides all that - now that you're turning a shade of jealous green - I want to give you a piece of advice - 'cause I'm so much older than you....

Find yourself a dream - and follow it. F**k work! Follow your dream.

You want to write a book? Do it. If you have to do it after work for now - than do it. And see where it leads you.

It might just get rid of that stupid alarm clock.

Anonyme a dit…

Hang in there, cowboy. Your nomination on my behalf is both kind and thoughtful so I think you are obviously getting some life tricks right. Bisous xx

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Aims; Reried at 24? How did you manage that *snigger*

And Anonyme.....the nomination is well and truly deserved. Honestly. Hope you win....

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Aims; I obviously mean retired.....

cb a dit…

Yes, but how often does one get shot at on the 07h45 to Nanterre??

I don't think the lone rangers life was so keen. After all, he wasn't even buggering tonto.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CB - that's not the point. The point is he got to ride off at the end of the day and set up camp and then have a big old lie in before having his next adventure.

I don't necessarily want to bugger Tonto; I just like the idea of having someone along who is equally good with a gun and a pot roast.

And the road to Nanterre is a dangerous one...especially when all the shop girls get on at Auber....

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

Oh, talking about alarm clocks, have you heard about the philips wake-up light? It simulates dawn to make your mind think the sun's out and it's time to start waking up. That process takes 30 minutes, so 30 minutes before you set the alarm (it has sound too) the wake-up light slowly starts to light up and you can set the light intensity to your own preference. I got one for my birthday last year and really don't want to go without anymore.

12ontheinside a dit…

You did very well to be on the train in that time. If it were me I'd have been tempted to just call in a sicky and go back to bed. On another note it is very confusing reading this, which was posted some time overnight while I slept, and seeing all these references to Wednesday and Thursday - here, it's Friday already. It's tough, I tell ya, living a day ahead of the rest of the world. (We are so advanced, I think that's it!)
I think it sounds like you need a good night out on the turps.

Swearing Mother a dit…

Kemosahbi, don't fret. You can be the Lone Ranger at weekends.

Here's hoping you meet a lovely Tonto out on the pull.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Marjolein, sounds great - I'm investigating toot sweet!

12oti - a night on the turps beckons - I can feel it...and it IS friday....

Sweary - let's hope so. I like a man in mocassins...

Louise a dit…

Have you seen the movie "Holiday" with Carey Grant and Katherine Hepburn?

Work is not called work because it is fun. It is a means to fun and life. But it needs to be bearable.

What happened at that job interview on the 29th?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Louise, the job wasn't what they said it was...odd that a headhunter oversold the position, he he.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Louise, the job wasn't what they said it was...odd that a headhunter oversold the position, he he.

Louise a dit…

I'm shocked.