lundi 15 décembre 2008

Love me for a reason - let the reason be because I'm fabulous.

One of my customers is trying to get me sacked.

Luckily I have a good boss who knows me well, and so I can relax in the knowledge that the mental meanderings of this vindictive fool are largely being ignored. However, a less forgiving or more easily influenceable boss would have sacked me by now. I don't understand this kind of behaviour.

So what have I done? Nothing, it seems. His claims are all largely founded on the basis that he just doesn't like me. The good thing is that he cancelled my meeting with him today, so I get to stay in the warmth and comfort of home, rather than sitting on a cold TGV for five hours, heading out to the french equivalent of lands' end. This has to be a bonus, no?

What does surprise me is the fact that this guy really, truly doesn't like me.

He really doesn't. He doesn't like me.

Now, I've met his wife and kids, I've eaten at their family table and I've spent many an hour working with him and helping him to build the (very) successful business that he has today.

Yet he doesn't like me.

I don't get it. This, I do not get. I don't understand. Je ne comprends pas. Ich verstehe nicht.

You all know me by now. I am funny, charming and good company. I work hard to make people feel comfortable and tell self-deprecating jokes so that they know that I'm not up my own arse.

I always dress appropriately, I wear good cologne and I have regular haircuts. I clean my teeth, wash my hair and take at least one shower a day. I naturally change socks and underpants daily as a minimum.

I have glittering conversation that is suitable for all occasions. I know jokes and tell them well. I flirt when necessary and with the appropriate person. I'm a zinger in the sack.

I can talk about my celebrity encounters; my brushes with royalty. I'm up to speed on hollywood gossip and can give fairly decent sporting banter (with a little notice).

I am well travelled and have anecdotes galore. After all, who else has eaten a bowl of semolina off the back of a live giant tortoise whilst chatting with an eighty-year-old, bare-breasted Dogon tribeswoman?

I know the best places to eat, sleep and drink in most of the world's hotspots, and can usually tell you who I ate, slept or drank there with. You may well have heard of them.

And on top of all of this, I'm humble and not at all egotistical and narcissistic. I never point out how great I am and I always prefer to talk about others.

I mean really. What's not to like?

34 commentaires:

cb a dit…

He probably Hayes you because you are a poufter. And that scares him or something. Meh.

Glad you have a cool boss!!

Oh, and I'd give just about anything to ride the TGV even once.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CB, I presume you mean the TGV as in the train and this isn't some vile euphemism you've come up with in your sick (but lovely) head?

Anthony a dit…

And modest .... you gorgot to mention you're modest!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

LaTanya, you're right. I did gorget to mention that I'm fabulous, sorry, modest.

A Lewis a dit…

Honey, please...mylittle pumpkin. We're ALL trying to sack you. Is that news new to you?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Lewis, your sack is coming nowhere near this beauty. Unless you buy me a gin first, he he.

CawfeeGuy a dit…

um HELLO...he's JEALOUS.
he's saddled with a wife and kids **shudder** and you're out LIVING, mame.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CG, but his wife is a plastic surgeon. Which is funny because he's so ugly.

Last time he met my (female) boss, he said "my wife will give you a discount if you want a little lift". Made me pee my panties, that did....

Nico a dit…

"My wife will give you a discount" - LOL. Maybe that's why your boss is not sacking you. Cause your first paragraph sort of says there were business reasons to have you sacked :-x

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Nico, there were business reasons to sack me if you believe what this fool was saying. But he was lying and my boss knows that.

So there were no reasons to sack me. If there were, I'd be sacked, despite the fact that it's a big old love-in with the boss (yeah right!!!)

Lane a dit…

Plastic surgeon woman married to ugly guy. Wow, there's a story there:-)

Sounds like he's got some unfounded agenda. His loss. As you say, what's not to like?:-)

conortje a dit…

Maybe he's a Beatles fan :-)nah, he can't be, he's quite obviously a fool if he doesn't lke you.

Daisy a dit…

I hate it when that happens. Against all the odds someone just does not LIKE you. I think it's chemical you know- you can just feel it, and you know that you dislike each other. Anyway, I like you, and that's great because soon the Colonel and I will be living with you - can't wait roomy!

Daryl a dit…

Jealous

Homophobe

Miscreant

George Bush

Pick one or more ..

IMO its his loss ... but I am glad your boss knows you

:-Daryl

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Lane, he's just weird. And there's absolutely a story there...just not sure if it's professional to tell it.

Conortje, I agree, he's obviously a fool!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Daisy, move in when you like - but maybe after christmas, eh?

D, You are right on every one of those counts...he's an eejit.

Rob (Inukshuk Adventure) a dit…

Oh it's obvious, the ugly bugger is in love with you and hates himself because of it. Can't blame him though, you are just too fabulous!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

aw shucks Rob, you say the darnedest things....

alan a dit…

he's just jealous of your fabulousness!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Alan, him and half the western world. ha ha. I wish.

12ontheinside a dit…

He's clearly either jealous of you or has a crush on you. Or maybe both.

Anonyme a dit…

How could he not like you!?? I'm a new fan of your blog, and I think I'm in love with you!

The Hangar Queen a dit…

Trans Gender Vixen.

There you are now.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

12oti - must be both, ha ha

Anon, i'd love you back if I knew who you were.... ;-)

HQ - and we all love to ride the TGV!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

HQ, that sounded dreadful, sorry. I mean we would all love to ride the TGV but the tickets are so expensive.

Now, that sounds worse. Damn.

tornwordo a dit…

They should have your name next to the entry for "modest" in the dictionary.

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

He just wants to be you, and figures since he can't, he might as well be mean to you. I mean, you're so incredibly modest, I can't find any other explanation ;)

H a dit…

Haha!

This post deserves a big 'omg lolz'.

red a dit…

he's clearly just jealous

Louise a dit…

1) He's jealous.

2) He probably wants to sleep with you, but knows he can't.

3) Truthfully, what's NOT to like?

4) Self-confidence does not necessarily = big ego. Self-confidence is good, and almost everyone LOVES a self-confident person.

5) Mainly, he's jealous.

6) Anthony made me laugh out loud!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Torny, I think they'd be better of with my photo....it'd be a selling point for that dull old book, he he

Marjolein, I have thought about other reasons, and I can't come up with any either! fancy that!

H, welcome. OMG lolz works for me!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Red, I agree. I mean really, why wouldn't I?

Louise, every one of your points is obviously correct except the thing about Anthony. He doesn't make me laugh, but I'm willing to put up with him, he he...

Valleys Mam a dit…

Small dick syndrome,darling
sad and probably found out his wife is having an affair with another woman

travelling, but not in love a dit…

VM, you're funny....