lundi 27 octobre 2008

What you gon’ do with all that junk?

Now, I’m not saying that I’m, like, Randy Jackson or anything but when it comes down to what the cool folk are saying these days, I’m pretty good at working it, dog.

You know, all this ‘hanging with me homies’ and such, it’s given me a bit of an insight into gangsta speak. You know what I mean, bitch?

I know whether something is ‘phat’ or fat – not that it can’t be both (I give myself as evidence here) and I know my ice from my bling. I’m even pretty good at translating regular American into the Queen’s English.

If someone wants to hang on the sidewalk, I know they’d probably like a sit down at a pavement terrace. If he tells me that ‘that bitch ain’t shit to me’ I know he’s not talking about Boubou the French Bulldog and her constipation.

So, I was in a club on Friday night and this really attractive guy came up to me. He was early forties, good clothes, salt and pepper hair (be still my beating heart) and he was American.

“Hey man” he said.

“Hello” I said back, trying for all the world to sound like a member of the Royal Family.

“Your junk man. It’s good.”

“Thanks, erm, yours isn’t so bad either?”

“You gonna give it to me?”

“Erm, probably. Possibly. Erm, what do you mean…?”

Well, he told me. I was a little surprised and a little impressed. Surprised that he was referring to the good stuff as junk. Impressed that he’d spotted the good stuff in the first place. Impressed he’d got the balls to come and talk to me.

Reader, I was impressed enough to let him have the junk….;-)

29 commentaires:

Stew a dit…

Urban dictionary is my friend.

Stop wearing tight jeans



(verification word "covel". It sounds like a real word. It should be. Kind of a mixture of grovel and cower.)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Stew, I love those verification words - I think there was some covelling going on at the weekend, snigger...

Valleys Mam a dit…

so basically he liked you package then darling :>)
Wind your booty down tha

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

I don't do English slang. Dutch I can handle, but English... well maybe to a certain degree.

And gorgeous American men never come up to me anymore. It only takes one vile look from my 6'6" boyfriend to scare them away.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

VM, he did. It was a very funny evening...

Marjolein - do you never leave him at home?

conortje a dit…

'sup? I'm down with all the parlaying after watching The Wire. you feeling me? Most def!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Big C? Am I feeling you? What you asking me?

Brett a dit…

If there was not already too many uses for word in English. Glad i don't have to l;earn it from scratch.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Yo yo yo Brett. Y'all need to git learnin' bro!

ha ha.

wontletlifedefineme a dit…

Leave a gorgeous, tall, dark hair blue eyes and great dancer boyfriend at home? No way! I want to show him off. I would post his photo on my blog, but he doesn't want to have it on there.

And besides, I like it when he gets a little protective. He's usually really laid-back you see.

Breezy a dit…

And after all that I still had to google to make sure I understood what was going on.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Marjolein, I can understand given the description. I'm surprised you ever leave the house!

Breezy, you knew exactly what was going on...you just PRETEND to have to google this stuff...

A Lewis a dit…

Yo, dog, nothing wrong with a handsome sexy man and his junk....it's all good..
Love, Randy

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Lewis, I knew you'd be Randy...certainly not Paula, he he.

Louise a dit…

The chasm is very wide right now.

Thanks, Stew, for reminding me to look it up in the Urban Dictionary. I was totally wrong about "junk." I knew about "junk in the trunk" but not just "junk." I agree with Brett that words have enough meanings already!

Now I have to have two translators open when I read you!

GLAD, however, that you had a good weekend!

Lane a dit…

If someone asked me that, I'd be flummoxed - unless we were at a boot sale. But then I don't think they would ask me that, would they;-)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Louise, yeah, but 'vive la difference', no?

The weekend was great - spent it with some new friends who are turning out to be great friends.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Lane, only in the 'junk in your trunk' kind of way. But hey, I'm guessing you have a lovely pert english bottom, not a juicy bubble butt à la Beyoncé....

Daisy a dit…

Oh man! I thought it meant junk in your trunk too- I'm clearly unable to speak either French or English at this point. You dig?!

Louise a dit…

vive la difference, yes!

I think ONE new friend might be a GREAT friend!

12ontheinside a dit…

I totally would have got that reference - if it were not for his next comment of "You gonna give it to me then?" That just threw me off track a bit. There's direct and then there's... well, never mind - I have to go now to look up junk in your trunk.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Daisy, je dig...ne t'inquiete pas.

Louise - or he may turn out to be a stalker....knowing my luck!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

12oti - direct indeed. Although you should be used to that, surrounded by Aussie males...ha ha.

Mike a dit…

oh REALLY now?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Mike - uh huh, really. He was a Los Angelino too - maybe you know him, ha ha.....

CawfeeGuy a dit…

bra-VO, you shameless hussy!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CG - oh yeah, I have no shame. luckily i have standards....

cb a dit…

So... how was your "junk" the next day?? Did he have "un grand bite" pour toi?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CB - he had a good old bite, trust me.

Et il savait bien faire une bonne pipe... ;-)