vendredi 15 août 2008

Sapphic styling

I walked into the finance office at lunchtime today. The two young women who were covering the phones quickly shuffled things and pretended to be working on something together at one of their desks.

"Phew, it's only you" said one of the girls.

"What were you up to?"

"She was showing me photo's of real life lesbians online", said girl number 2.

"Wha?"

"I've never met a real lesbian. She was showing me what they look like".

"So you can avoid them?" said I, confused.

"No. I just wanted to know what they looked like. They have bad hair".

Hmm.

Then she piped up again. "I asked her to become a lesbian when her boyfriend ditched her last month" she said, motioning towards girl number one.

"Right. I see". I didn't.

"It's not that I fancy her. But I thought she could find out what they do and that. I mean, they don't have a, well, you know, to do, erm well, you know..."

I felt I understood what she was getting at.

"I wouldn't mind the bad clothes". Said the proposed sapphic sacrifice. "And I was up for it, but my feet don't get on with cheap shoes".

So. Lesbians. It's all about bad hair, bad clothes and cheap shoes.

I think that Portia de Rossi missed that memo.

18 commentaires:

Mike a dit…

this one is hilarious! lesbians in general scare me [not really]. maybe it's just lesbian sex. who knows.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Mike, I kind of take the 'each to his own' approach to lesbians.

But I must admit to a little fear too....

Valleys Mam a dit…

why fear lol some of my best mates are lesbian. people are people , why should sexuality be an issue. May be more openess would be good. Lesbians have so much prejudice and stupidy from certain male groups.
My friends do not wear cheap shoes and gross clothes, they arevery stylish. Live at let live

travelling, but not in love a dit…

VM, exactly. The whole conversation was ludicrous....

CawfeeGuy a dit…

RofLmAO that is AMAZINGLY accurate!

aims a dit…

I guess my friends missed that memo too!

Next thing you know - they'll be studying different religious people...just so they can see what they look like...

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......

If the whole thing wasn't so stupid I'd laugh!

Louise a dit…

EXACTLY! I was thinking about Portia DiRossi when I read that. I'm very much not lesbian, but Portia is one of my "girl crushes!"

Rob a dit…

OMG, bless the poor ignorant breeders for they know not.....oh what am I saying, slap the bitches till they get a clue!

Lewis a dit…

I thought it was SENSIBLE shoes and Subarus?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

cawfeeguy - bad, bad you. tee hee.

aims, it's so ridiculous that it is funny. but i'm laughing at their stupidity more than anything...

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Louise - Portia's quite the gal, no doubt there.

Rob, I'll slap them for you - no problem-o!

Lewis, you'll be suggesting dungarees and work boots next. and why not....

Lola a dit…

You know, I may be wrong, but quite often you can't tell who's a lesbian by looking at a picture. After all, they don't always have the LESBO tattoo on the forehead. Duh.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Lola, exactly. The whole thing was hilariously ridiculous. Stupid people doing stupid things.

red a dit…

You really should bring them in a picture of Portia. That would shut them up.

The Hangar Queen a dit…

I know a veritable legion of lesbians who have not received that memo. Thankfully.

Now I've got "All The Lazy Dykes" stuck in my head.Cheers.

Medbh a dit…

Oh my.
What year is this?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Red, I think the photo would do the trick. But that would mean re-engaging with these girls...

HQ, 'all the lazy dykes' - fabulous. God bless morrissey, not sure anyone else would get away with it!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Medbh, 1952 apparently....