"Do you know how many coconut shys I've managed in my life?" squawked colleague X as I passed her office.
She was talking to (at) her boss, who had had the cheek to suggest a coconut shy (throwing balls at coconuts that represent our main competitors) as one of the 'fairground attractions' at our upcoming company conference. It turns out she has managed many, and doesn't want to do it again. Apparently it's more expensive than you could possibly imagine.
The woman is a disaster - and ranks as my least favourite co-worker. Really, someone has to be pretty awful for me to not find something charming about them, but this one is truly charmless.
She's one of those people who likes to have an opinion that is the polar opposite of the rest of the room. I say black, she says white, I say stripes, she says spots - that kind of thing.
Obtuse, some might say.
Yesterday she spent an age pulling apart a piece of direct mail that my team had posted out last month. Apparently the postcard was poorly designed, ill-conceived, off-message and spiritually defunct.
After she had ranted for a good ten minutes one of my team pointed out that it was colleague X herself who had signed off the artwork and the content, as well as the design and the message.
"Well" she said "I must have been having an off day. But let me look again. Oh, well, it's not so bad. The photo's are very well chosen...."
Heaven help me. Please.
Now, where can I order some coconuts....