mardi 19 août 2008

Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head

"Do you know how many coconut shys I've managed in my life?" squawked colleague X as I passed her office.

She was talking to (at) her boss, who had had the cheek to suggest a coconut shy (throwing balls at coconuts that represent our main competitors) as one of the 'fairground attractions' at our upcoming company conference. It turns out she has managed many, and doesn't want to do it again. Apparently it's more expensive than you could possibly imagine.

The woman is a disaster - and ranks as my least favourite co-worker. Really, someone has to be pretty awful for me to not find something charming about them, but this one is truly charmless.

She's one of those people who likes to have an opinion that is the polar opposite of the rest of the room. I say black, she says white, I say stripes, she says spots - that kind of thing.

Obtuse, some might say.

Yesterday she spent an age pulling apart a piece of direct mail that my team had posted out last month. Apparently the postcard was poorly designed, ill-conceived, off-message and spiritually defunct.

After she had ranted for a good ten minutes one of my team pointed out that it was colleague X herself who had signed off the artwork and the content, as well as the design and the message.

"Well" she said "I must have been having an off day. But let me look again. Oh, well, it's not so bad. The photo's are very well chosen...."

Heaven help me. Please.

Now, where can I order some coconuts....

15 commentaires:

conortje a dit…

spiritually defunct? I knew it, you work in a convent!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Bless you Conortje, your sins are forgiven...

I am not a Nun, but I am often to be found on my knees in front of the local priest.

;-)

CawfeeGuy a dit…

"throwing balls at coconuts that represent our main competitors"
really though? and this is common at company conferences?

tornwordo a dit…

That's how spouse is when he gets a little too liquored up. I wouldn't be able to work with someone like that.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Cawfeeguy....it's not really our usual conference thing, but it is kind of funny given that we have a fairground theme. A little basic, maybe....

Torny, I struggle almost daily with this woman. Awful.

Lane a dit…

Coconuts are on BOGOF here. They're not quite as big as your head (I don't think) but they'd do for Ms Charmless. Aim. Fire:-)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Oh Lane, I'd love to. Knock some sense into her, and relieve some of my tension at the same time.

Good value. Especially if they're BOGOF....

Daryl a dit…

OH. MY. GOD. I think I once worked with her .... or her clone.

I am SO sorry for you ... and I would love to help you get those coconuts ...

:-Daryl

knifepainter a dit…

People like that are the thing I miss least about my former life.

Now at least I get to slag myself off, rather than listen to some vapid talent-free zone do it !

Louise a dit…

Yeah. YOU should volunteer to do the Coconut Shy... YOUR. WAY. People can be downright annoying.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Daryl, there are so many of her around - it's a little scary. Every office has one, I'm sure.

KP, trust me, I wouldn't miss her or her kind at all, ever. You;re lucky to be out of it....

Louise, you;re right - people can indeed be downright annoying. And my colleague is one of those people...

aims a dit…

How did I miss this post darling?
My apologies...you must have wondered...

Having read through all the comments first - not my usual style - I see that everyone has already said everything. The fairground theme...hmmmm...I take it then that pin the tale on the donkey is appropriate?

And I'm with knifepainter. So glad I have only myself to blame for everything.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Aims, I quite like having other people to blame (he he) but I'd rather not have to put up with their sh*t and their sh*tty moods.

I actually enjoy working with people though - I just wish the horrible ones weren't there...!

As for the fairground theme, well it's not my idea, I wasn't consulted and I'm just rolling with it in a 'line of least resistance' kind of way...but it could end up being incredibly lame.

Valleys Mam a dit…

she needs a good shagging and a new handbag

travelling, but not in love a dit…

VM - very funny. Whilst that would sort most of us out (I know it's probably what I need), I don't think she'd even notice.