lundi 11 février 2008

I'm not cut out for this

You know me well enough by now.

I’m sure you can imagine that I quite easily find myself in situations that are not only beyond my control but also often beyond my comprehension.

A few years ago a friend had set me up on a blind date. Now, I’m not usually one for the blind date – there’s usually a reason they don’t want you to see them beforehand – but this was a good friend with (normally) pretty good taste.

Anyway, me and blind date met in the city centre and we got on well. We started with dinner and the evening developed - from restaurant to bar; bar to club; club to cab; cab to his place. It was going great and I was convinced that my friends had come up trumps.

The blind date was a really nice guy – great conversation, good looking, steady job – and in the cab back to his yuppie flat in Edgbaston, I was quite happily contemplating where this would all lead. Little did I know that it was all leading to a very strange place indeed.

We get back to his and he makes me coffee.

We installed ourselves on his sofa and – as you can imagine – neither of us drank any coffee.

It must have been fifteen minutes or so later when he took my hand and led me towards another room.

“There's something I want you to do” he said.

I thought I had a pretty good idea of what that 'something' might be. How wrong I was.

He took me through the door into what must have been the spare bedroom. There were other people in there. Lots of them. I was unnerved, and he dissappeared.

But no, hold on, they’re not real people… They’re cardboard cut-outs.

And it was even worse than that. The room was populated by life-size cardboard cut-outs of WWF wrestlers. Oh yes. Oh no.

I turned to blind date and he had two lycra leotards in his hand.

“I want you to wrestle me”, he said, making a growling noise as he approached me.

Had I not been so drunk I might have said no.

14 commentaires:

Swearing Mother a dit…

I've had weird things happen to me in Edgbaston, but none of them involved cardboard cutouts of WWF wrestlers or lycra leotards.

Unfortunately.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Edgbaston's just that kind of place, isn't it?

Along with the 'wrestlemaniac' I can also think of many Edgbaston tales from my past - including an unexpected (but highly memorable) encounter with a gorilla-suited strippergram.....

Stew a dit…

Excellent! In WWF there are no rukes so low blows would be allowed.

aims a dit…

Darling - how much fun is that!! I need to show my brother your blog...I think he'll laugh and show his partner...

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Stew...low blows? That's too funny. I spent the whole time waiting for the bell to ring and for someone to squirt water in my mouth, towel me down and send me back in....

And Aims, you are right, dating can be a lot of fun - unfortunately these things tend to be funnier afterwards....

Breezy a dit…

This has had me chuckling all week. But where was the pic of you in your leotard?

aims a dit…

Ya! I agree with Breezy - we needed to see a pic!! LOL

Valleys Mam a dit…

LOL you lead a very interesting life.
Is it just Edgbaston, an area I like lots in Brum.Often thought I would like to buy one of those big shabby houses on the main drag. I have delusions of property development, which alas,or may be thankfully,will never be birthed.

softinthehead a dit…

OMG I need to get out more. That certainly made me chuckle.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

ha ha - trust me, noone needs to see me in a lycra leotard! Well, not again anyway.

Enda P a dit…

Hmm, the wrestling is a funny one. One was got a tad overenthusiastic at that once and had a gentleman fall squarely onto my neck. Much (non)hilarity ensued as I could hardly move for three days or turn my head for a couple of weeks. Try explaining that to one's employers!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Enda P - sounds like you know where I'm coming from with this one then?

There was a great phone in on the radio a few weeks back about vanity related injuries - girls who had stabbed themselves in the eye with a mascara wand; boys who had burned themselves with a self-administered 'personal' waxing...you can imagine the fools that rang in. Quite classy.

Conortje a dit…

You have no idea how much that last sentence made me laugh :-)

cb a dit…

Oh dude. No.

I did the wrestling thing once myself, but the guy got really pissed at me because I just let him keep pinning me and wasn't fighting enough