jeudi 15 mai 2008

End of days

I feel really weird this evening, and it's a feeling that has been coming back to me over and over again during the last few weeks.

My Best Girl Friend is over for a few days and we went to my favourite restaurant in town (the Brasserie de l'Ouest, if you're interested). I sat there with BGF and yet again I was consumed with the feeling that this was something else I was doing 'for the last time'.

I know I'm on countdown here in Lyon, and I'm trying to detach myself from the place - and re-attach myself to Paris - but I just keep getting this feeling that so much of what I love to do I am now doing for one last time....

I'm really looking forward to moving and to becoming a 'Parisien Etranger' as they call us interlopers there.

But I'm dreading the moment when I turn away from my lovely view across the river to see an empty apartment and door waiting to be closed...for the last time.

7 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit…

I know the feeling, but once you've settled in Paris you can always come back to Lyon and you know the way around, know your favourite cafés and restaurants, shops and places to go and it will always feel like a second home, something to come back to. That's a nice feeling as well.

Breezy a dit…

I hope you find the right place soon then you can leave your lovely Lyon apartement without regrets. I can't wait to hear about your adventures as a Parisian (? spelling)

Anonyme a dit…

I also know the feeling and even though you can always go back to visit it will never be the same. Still though, it's PARIS!! Oh my god have you any idea how incredibly jealous I am?

Anonyme a dit…

your grieving for a loss you know is coming, and when that happens we always take the worst scenario.
Its also that although you can return, its a different relationship.
Its a major change,yuo wouldnt be human if you didnt have these feelings

aims a dit…

I'm with all the rest TBNIL.

I remember very well the feeling when I sold my house and moved west. I did the 'last time' with everything. And I have been back again and again. It is definitely not the same.

As with your first journey away from home - you came back a different person. You will move - change - and you will visit Lyon once more as a different person. You'll have grown once more and morphed into something a little different and you'll have new eyes to view the past and the future.

I kept a copy of my house key. For the first little while I clutched it desperately. Now I look at it and wonder what it was for.

At least you will have wonderful memories for the rest of your life.

Lane a dit…

Moving on is always tough (says she, sounding like a globe-trotter when she's not).

It sounds like Lyon is somewhere very special for you. I hope Paris becomes that that too and I really hope you find somewhere nice to live. x

travelling, but not in love a dit…

It's weird eh? I'm kind of over it, but it does keep raising it's old ugly head. And Paris is very very exciting.

Back there tomorrow for more viewings....wish me luck readers. Wish me luck.