mardi 8 septembre 2009

My friend and me

So, I just got back to Paris. I left Florida Boy in bed at an ungodly hour and came to work. And this is where I'm sat, at my desk, au bureau. Joy, eh?

Well, I do have reason to be happy. The whole Florida Boy thing is sorted. Sorted in my mind. Sorted in my heart. Sorted between us.

This trip was always going to be about getting to know each other better. Deciding if we really like each other and seeing if there's anything of a future for us.

This trip was about falling in love, or not falling in love.

It was about saying 'this is who I am, this is what I want' to each other.

He lives on the other side of the world to me. Physically, emotionally and mentally, we do not live in the same place.

What I need isn't him.

He is a great guy, a wonderful friend, a truly fantastic Florida Boy. But he's not the man of my dreams.

If he lived in Paris, then maybe we'd stay together for a while until our differences got the better of us. We'd fall in and out of love until we didn't like each other that much anymore. And that would be sad, and a shame.

So, we talked.

I told him how I didn't want to commit to anything more than friendship, but that he has friendship from me in spades, forever.

Transatlantic love affairs need a whole load of energy, emotion, time and commitment. We both agreed that if it's going to be a long distance relationship then it has to be with the person that you really want to spend the rest of your days with.

And neither of us is that person to the other one.

Am I sad that it didn't turn out to be true love? Do I regret that there are no bells ringing, heartstrings twanging, cherubs singing? Do I wish that he had been the love of my life?

Sure. Of course. Without a doubt.

Am I thrilled to have a great new friend in my life? One that I will share great times with over the coming years?

Absolutely, yes.....especially when that friend comes with privileges, ha ha.

20 commentaires:

Victor a dit…

That's good, sounds like a civilised and sensible outcome.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Hi Victor - you're right. And most importantly for me, it's an outcome that I'm really happy with!

The Mutant a dit…

You couldn't help yourself could you you filthy tramp. Not content with friends, there had to be a little something extra in for you, didn't there?

And that pretty much cements my admiration of you! Nice work, even if he's not 'the one' any hole's a goal, huh?

Valleys Mam a dit…

So a result and sounds like one that sits happily with you. Nice to have you back

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Mootant, yeah well, it's good to keep options open in these things, no?

VM, a great result. I love him lots, but it's not Love, if that makes sense.

conortje a dit…

when is he leaving? is this decision likely to change again???

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Big C, he leaves thursday...and no, this isn't going to be a decision that changes. My sanity couldn't cope with that (and it's a delicate thing, my sanity, as you know...)

;-)

Rob Inukshuk a dit…

I'm glad you sorted things this trip and didn't let it drag on. Sorry he wasn't "the one", but you've found a friend and that's a good thing.

Daryl a dit…

You sound so mature ... where is TBNIL and what have you done to/with him?

MyopicPsychotic a dit…

Oh that sounds all very grown up.

cb a dit…

Well, it's sorted. And that's worth a lot.

Sure it didn't sort out ideally, but it did realistically and adultly.

So all is good. Or will be.

alan a dit…

onwards and upwards?

Pure Poser a dit…

Good ol' friend with privileges ;D

Happy to hear you sorted it out hun - it's still a happy ending :D

12ontheinside a dit…

Nothing wrong with having a FWF. Sounds like a good outcome.

Wilf a dit…

At least you won't have to change the name of your blog!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Rob, the last thing I wanted was anything dragging on...that would have been nasty.

D, I know, right? What has happened? I'm still the immature fool you all know and love though, don't worry!

MP, a bit too grown up?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

CB - all is definitely good. Excellent in fact. Now, let's talk Marrakech....

Alan, exactly my dear. Just hold me back next weekend!

Poser, yep, a happy ending indeed. Thank goodness.


12oti, surely they're the best kind?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Wilf, that'd be a disaster, right? I mean, what would it be? I'd have to trawl the Rufus W back catalogue to find another line from a song that suits....

aims a dit…

Oh My Goodness. What a turnaround.

laurie a dit…

it's good to know your own mind.
and lifelong friendships are rare.... so you're lucky.