mardi 16 septembre 2008

I've got the time, but not the patience

My mother called me today to ask me what the time was.

In her house she has (and this is from memory, so forgive any inaccuracies) three wall clocks, three bedside/alarm clocks and a handful of watches. She also has a TV, video recorder, computer, oven, microwave and a central heating system that all also display the time.

She can check any of these. She can even dial 123 and ask the talking clock. But does she?

No. She makes an international call (to someone in a DIFFERENT TIME ZONE) to find out the correct time.

It seems she was worried that her alarm clock had gone off late, and that she would miss an appointment at the hairdresser. She pretended not to listen when I made the point that having a ten-minute conversation with me would only serve to make her even more late.

Shortly after my father died, only 6 years ago, I took my Mom to Australia - on the holiday that my Dad had promised her, in order to celebrate her retirement. The trip took us to countries in four different time zones and across the international dateline.

Did this faze her? Not at all.

All she was interested in on that trip was flirting outrageously with the stewards on Qantas and having her photo taken in her business class seat ("it's my first time 'up front' you know"). The complete and utter shame of it.

Anyway, in six short years she's gone from being the older woman who flirts with the boys to an old woman who doesn't know what time it is.

So did I tell her the time?

No, I did not.

Instead, I told her that every time she calls me with one of these crazy questions it puts her one step closer to officially being an 'old lady'.

"I'll go and see what time the TV says", she said. "And if I ever hear you call me an old lady again I'll come round and show you how hard an 'old lady' can punch".

Now, that's more like it.

33 commentaires:

aims a dit…

Oh the utter shame of it!

Darling - you cracked me up this morning and I really needed it.

She loves you and misses you. So obvious isn't it? And you - you tease her to bits.

I well remember looking after my mother after my father died. The weight on my arm increased some days - on others it was as light as a feather. I suppose we all do that don't we?

One thing I do know - I'd give anything right now to be able to offer my mother my arm so that we could walk about. Anything.

When you see your mom again - could you give her an extra hug for me?

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Aims, that woman needs no extra hugs! She's an absolute nuisance.

Ok, so I'm joking...forgive me, won't you? My Dad dying suddenly made me value the time I spend with my Mom - so, in my own way, I'm trying to build a bank of memories for when the bad day arrives...

Louise a dit…

Good for you. And her!

Valleys Mam a dit…
Ce commentaire a été supprimé par l'auteur.
Valleys Mam a dit…

and what was the time?
how old is your mam, we all have senior moments you know - I'v had them since my thirties, and even going from blonde to a red head hasn't helped.
She just wanted to be close to you I guess, I worked with a man once, who phoned his son in Australia about his bank acount -it was an excuse, of course and he did it at least 3 times a week :>)

Tina a dit…

My mum phones me to offer money. I keep telling her I've got a job, and she's on a state pension, to which her only response is 'Well I don't know how they expect me to spend all that'.

You've got to love 'em.

So I'm told, anyway.

Breezy a dit…

Just you wait till she's like my mother spending £300 per quarter on ringing the speaking clock then you'll be sorry! I know I am they say women get like their mothers don't they? I can't wait

A Lewis a dit…

I see where you get your sassiness and spark from! Now, exactly what time is it, again??

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Thanks Louise...she's a funny woman, my mother.

VM, it was about 9.15. My Mom is 67, too young to be an old woman, that's for sure.

Tina, mine does that - insists on paying for things when both me and my brother earn good salaries...crazy!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Breezy - I don;t know if I'd rather be like my Mom or my Dad. It's a hard choice....in a 'devil or the deep blue sea' kind of way...

Aw shucks, Lewis, you say the nicest thangs.

What time is it? Too early for your cheek!

Medbh a dit…

Right you are, Travelling.
Help her stave off the declining years for as long as possible.
She needs a date.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Medbh, she sure does. She needs a nice, charming, silver fox to sweep her off her feet and take her dancing and head off with her on world cruises.

Any ideas where to find one for her?

softinthehead a dit…

What can I say - I can relate - I have my mother staying with me at the moment - it is just a bit too intense having her here - of course I love her, but ......

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Softy, I know exactly what you mean....

conortje a dit…

That's hilarious and touching at the same time. I shall be slapping you this weekend though for being mean...

tallulahbloom a dit…

Fabulous!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Conortje, I'll look forward to it... ;-)

Talullah...merci beaucoup madame!

david mcmahon a dit…

You Mom has spirit. I like that.

Mike a dit…

wow! when my mother calls me, bless her heart, she asks if i prayed today. hmmm. which is worse? LOL.

Brett a dit…

Fantastic, i'll try that with my mum.

red a dit…

You really should write a book, some short stories or a sitcom you know. seriously.

San a dit…

I believe your mother wants an excuse to talk to you. And I can't blame her. If your conversation is as lively as this post, I may be calling you to ask the temperature.

Wandered over from David's. And I'm glad I did.

Akelamalu a dit…

I popped over from Authorblog to read your 'post of the day' and it was worth the trip.

Your Mum obviously just wanted to hear your voice. Next time I'm betting she has a better excuse. ;)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

David, she certainly does!

Mike, I'm not sure which worse! Probably yours....tee hee

Brett - let me know how it goes!

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Red, the book is in the development stage - i.e. I'm still writing the blessed thing....

San, welcome! I'm always pleased to see David's folks over here! Glad to hear you enjoy the blog.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Akelamalu - glad it was worth the trip! Looking forward to seeing you over here again.

alan a dit…

aw! She misses her son! ;)

I have to call my mother, not the other way round... :)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Well, I'm glad you do Alan. She'd miss you if you didn't...I'm sure...

Swearing Mother a dit…

Travelling, the "checking the time" thing was probably just an excuse for your Mum to talk to her boy.

I think I'll use that one myself, but if anyone dares call me old, there be a helluva row.......

Been on my hoidays by the way. It was crap. Will blog it all later.

Daryl a dit…

I am adopting your mother ... mine passed 7 yrs ago and was just getting to that stage of loony ... I miss it, I miss her but I do not miss her pushing my buttons .. the buttons on a phone however are okay.

So ... next time tell her to call me. I wont tell her the time either but I would love to ask if she can hem my new slacks ...

:-Daryl

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Daryl, she'll happily hem your slacks.

And as long as you have one leg (considerably) longer than the other you'll be just fine....

I'm fedex-ing the adoption papers over toot sweet - she's all yours, sweetheart...!

conortje a dit…

damn - I forgot to slap you :-)

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Damn. And I was looking forward to that too.