I woke up at another Airport hotel this morning.
It was at Schiphol, but it could have been anywhere - the view from these places is always the same. Taxiways, runways, planes, cargo containers, random industrial buildings and car parks.
I opened the curtains and looked out of the window. The scene today was covered in frost and glowing in early morning sunshine. With a fast train to Paris waiting for me, I knew I’d have to get into the shower pretty soon, wash some of this morning fog away.
I got back into bed, and refound my position, next to DC. I pulled his arm around me and headed back to the land of comfortable, warm, lovely early morning sleep. His body was warm and soft and his arm held me sleepily tight.
I’d tried my hardest to avoid seeing him. Unfortunately, my meeting yesterday was at his agency, and as much as I hoped he wouldn’t be there, he was and there was little I could do.
I guess I could have said no to a beer after the meeting. I could have said no to a second beer. I could have declined the invitation to dinner. I could have not invited him back to the hotel.
I could have, but I didn’t.
Now I’m on the fast train and it can’t go fast enough. Can’t get me away from him and my stupid mistake and my hurting heart quickly enough.
The train soon puts two international borders between us and I start to relax. Focus on work, focus on the day ahead, focus on the cute guy across the aisle.
Focus on anything, but not on him. That way heartbreak lies.