mardi 8 avril 2008

Runaway train

I woke up at another Airport hotel this morning.

It was at Schiphol, but it could have been anywhere - the view from these places is always the same. Taxiways, runways, planes, cargo containers, random industrial buildings and car parks.

I opened the curtains and looked out of the window. The scene today was covered in frost and glowing in early morning sunshine. With a fast train to Paris waiting for me, I knew I’d have to get into the shower pretty soon, wash some of this morning fog away.

I got back into bed, and refound my position, next to DC. I pulled his arm around me and headed back to the land of comfortable, warm, lovely early morning sleep. His body was warm and soft and his arm held me sleepily tight.

I’d tried my hardest to avoid seeing him. Unfortunately, my meeting yesterday was at his agency, and as much as I hoped he wouldn’t be there, he was and there was little I could do.

I guess I could have said no to a beer after the meeting. I could have said no to a second beer. I could have declined the invitation to dinner. I could have not invited him back to the hotel.

I could have, but I didn’t.

Now I’m on the fast train and it can’t go fast enough. Can’t get me away from him and my stupid mistake and my hurting heart quickly enough.

The train soon puts two international borders between us and I start to relax. Focus on work, focus on the day ahead, focus on the cute guy across the aisle.

Focus on anything, but not on him. That way heartbreak lies.

13 commentaires:

aims a dit…

Oh Oh! Are you absolutely sure?

Sounds like someone's falling....

Which doesn't mean it's a bad thing you know..even if it is only for a while - then it would be a great memory!

Anonyme a dit…

I blame the beer - it's the cause of most downfalls! God I need a drink.....

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Aims, I'm not falling (unless you count falling apart at the seams, or falling over drunk, ha ha). This guy really isn't the one. He was at one point, but he soon proved that he wasn't.

And Big C, I too blame the beer. And I too would love a drink.

You see how I'm not learning from my mistakes?

The Hangar Queen a dit…

I think you and Conortje just need to hook up.That's all I'm saying...

Big C?

Swearing Mother a dit…

Beer goggles and one night stands go together like bananas and custard, or possibly even better.

Honestly, Travelling, what are you like?

softinthehead a dit…

Ooh er! Don't you hate those mornings!!

Stew a dit…

It sucks being alone.

That's why you write so graphically "I pulled his arm around me and headed back to the land of comfortable, warm, lovely early morning sleep. His body was warm and soft and his arm held me sleepily tight."
It's not the sex, it's the companionship. Snuggled up on the couch, watching the telly together, it's those shared moments that count.
If the sex is good too, tant mieux.

aims a dit…

Now wait one minute! Stop that train!!

I remember you saying something about you should have said no - but didn't - many times!! (the wrestler comes to mind here) so why this guy??

What are you really afraid of TBNIL??

Anonyme a dit…

Think you need to get a pet or a cwtchy throw.
Why revist old ground - dry dust, leaves a taste too

Breezy a dit…

Got to agree with Stew you seem to be looking for your life's companion. He's out there somewhere hon

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Well, everyone seems to be saying the same thing to me (except you, Hangar Queen...your comment shall go unremarked upon ;-) ).

And I do agree with you all. Finding someone to get cozy with on the sofa - it's all very romantic and definitely part of the plan.

How very gezellig, as Conortje would say (stop that now, Hangar Queen).

Will a dit…

What you did was so human. I don't (yet) know you because I just found your blog today, but I've done the same thing and so have we all, probably. Don't beat yourself up too much about it; just be open for "him" when he finally does come on the scene as he surely will.

travelling, but not in love a dit…

Hi Will. Welcome.

Thanks for the advice, I'm pretty sure he'll show up at some point!