Has it come to this?

So, the lovely Debbie said to me today that she has a new year's resolution.

I guessed it would be to sleep around a little less (pot, kettle, black, I know) or maybe to eat food that smells less at lunchtime in our small and poorly ventilated office. Maybe it would be to wear something other than black. Alas it is none of these.

She wants to learn to dance the Madison.

Ye Gods. In France, they insist on dancing this, even in the coolest of cool nightclubs. I guess that this is why Debbie wants to learn how to do it. Comes in handy for the occasional friday night at les Bains Douches, I guess.

It always makes me think of holidays on French campsites. You know the big campsites - the ones with dodgy disco's where they'd play cheesy pop classics and where you'd be certain to get your sixteen-year-old arse pinched by a rogue bartender? Hmm. I always liked those places.

Which is probably why one of my favourite nights out in Paris is a nightclub that recreates this atmosphere perfectly.

Le Tango (aka la Boîte à Frissons, rather cheesily) offers a good night out to anyone willing to arrive after midnight. Prior to that it's a tea dance popular with lesbians. I have nothing against lesbians - even though I do wish they'd work on their shoes a little - but I don't need to see a great crowd of them dry humping their butch selves on the dancefloor to "love is in the air". I mean, really.

The bar bills itself as thus : "On se voit, on s'entend, on se sourit. Y'a des filles, des garçons, des travs, des trans, des folles, des butchs, des jeunes, des vieux, des beaux, des moches. Machos, hétéros-flics, sexistes, trop-beaux-pour-être-aimable, VIP s'abstenir."

Not sure where I fit into that list, but I'm sure you can see how this makes for a funny, fun night out. Dancing to Dalida, Spice Girls, Mylène and Bananarama - and they always play American Boy.

If you want to see a spectacular Madison (and it is truly spectacular - largely because all the boyz know all the moves and the über-competitive lesbians try to keep up) then they have one every Friday at half past midnight.

So I started this post with a "why does she want to do something like that?" and appear to be ending it thinking that this is something I should be learning myself.

Is there any hope for me at all?

One can sometimes be a little too integrated, non?